Ice Ice Baby

It’s warming up around here but there’s still lots of snow, and yesterday’s light rain hardly made a dent in it. However, the rain did result in lots of black ice this morning, and shrewdly I headed out early so I could enjoy it before it melted:

I realize this photo looks like I took it while lying on the ground after a fall, but that’s not what happened, sorry to disappoint you.

While conditions still compel me to stick to my Milwaukee, it was at least warm enough for me to remove my gloves and update my stock photo of it:

I tried to also capture the deer that was picking its way through the trees in the background, but either it camouflaged itself or managed to wander out of frame. Briefly, I then considered pursuing it using my wilderness-honed survivalist-grade tracking skills:

But being lazy I just decided to mark my territory instead:

It’s important to let the local coyotes know who’s boss.

Speaking of cold weather exploits, while I may have walked on ice, I haven’t ridden on it–unlike aging stuntsperson Lucas Brunelle, who a reader informs me recently fell through the stuff:

This surprised me, because I was under the impression that Brunelle had relocated to Miami:

But I guess he’s back, because who wants to be someplace where it’s warm when you can instead flounder in a fetid frozen river in Massachusetts?

I’ve made light of Brunelle’s “outlaw” cred in the past, but the joke was on me, because as pretty much the only person these days moving from Florida to the Northeast and not the other way around he truly is a rebel.

Anyway, Brunelle’s riding buddy rescues him, at which point Brunelle immediately makes sure his Fat Chance is safe while his friend clings desperately to life. Here he is about to administer CPR:

Though, as his friend explains later, he was never really at risk, since they were both riding with crampon necklaces:

Not only can they save your life in the event of an ice-biking mishap, but they’re also extremely handy when you suddenly find yourself in the mood for corn on the cob:

After promoting the crampons (what, no affiliate link???), Brunelle goes on to describe the ride in a manner that suggests he truly believes this is something you might want to try yourselves:

He also acknowledges his first priority is indeed the bikes, and in that respect I hope his friend used plenty of Proofide on that Brooks saddle.

There are a lot of powerful lessons here, but perhaps the most profound is that you can’t judge people by their appearance. For example, next time you’re in an empty parking lot and see two old schlubs loitering around a Toyota Highlander, they may be more than just someone’s weird uncles…they could be daredevil ice-cyclists!

If you’re unsure, just look to see if they’re dripping.

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