Ice Road Freds

Sorry I wasn’t here yesterday, I had stuff to do:

That’s not actually my To Do list. You won’t catch me doing any of that, because every one of those things is for suckers. SUCKERS!!!

I’ve got your bills and your team meetings right here. [Grabs chamois in taunting fashion.]

Alas, the joke’s on me, because in addition to not partaking in any team meetings I also didn’t partake in any bicycle-cycling. Fortunately, I did manage to ride over the weekend, and unlike last Friday the Hudson River Greenway was totally free of snow–though unfortunately it was not free of ice. In fact, it was bascially an ice rink:

Not sure why they’d go through all the trouble of clearing it and then not scatter so much as a single crystal of salt, but if we’ve learned anything over the past year it’s that The Beaurocracy always knows best and we should never question it:

I believe it was Jesus who said that the right hand and the left hand should schedule a team meeting so they can both get on the same page with regard to attaining their objectives.

The ice was particularly treacherous on the steep portion by the George Washington Bridge, where an unsuspecting rider or walker could easily have eaten shit quite spectacularly:

As it was, the only way to negotiate it safely was to pick your way down on foot along the chunky snow-strewn shoulder.

Once south of the George Washington Bridge the situation improved, and a few miles later I spotted in the frigid waters of the mighty Hudson what appeared to be a seal frolicking around an orange buoy. So I stopped in order to take in the spectacle, at which point I realized it was not a seal frolicking around an orange buoy, but was in fact a human wearing an orange bathing cap and towing some sort of orange flotation device:

I’ve become somewhat sensitive in my old age about posting photos of strangers on the Internet without their permission, but this one’s from a considerable distance and therefore reasonably discreet, and also let’s be honest, nobody reads the crap I write anymore anyway, so I’m hoping I’m in the clear. And yes, I was absolutely the annoying person who hung around and asked him questions about what he was doing, because I happen to take pleasure in seeing people doing their thing even when it’s ridiculously cold.

After bothering the swimmer I exited the Greenway and headed over to Central Park. Once again I was forced to briefly dismount owing to excessive ice, and in doing so I came across some avian carrion:

I’m not sure what manner of fowl this is since I’m not an orinth othinal bird-studier, but having witnessed a red-tailed hawk in action I’m assuming it was a pigeon:

Anyway, there were feathers and body parts everywhere, it was pretty gross. However, since this was presumably nature in action and not the cult that goes around mutilating squirrels I don’t have any real qualms about posting the photos. (Sorry if you or your breakfast feel differently.) Hey, if you go fat-biking in the Arctic you’re bound to come across a polar bear mauling a seal (actually I have no idea if this is true), and if you go skinny-tire riding in New York City you’re bound to encounter a pigeon that has met an untimely fate, as well as at least five flattened rat pancakes in the roadway.

Meanwhile, in bike tech news, Chris Froome doesn’t like disc brakes:

“The downside to disc brakes: the constant rubbing, the potential for mechanicals, the overheating, the discs becoming a bit warped when on descents longer than five or 10 minutes of constant braking.

“Personally, I don’t think the technology is quite where it needs to be yet for road cycling,” Froome continued, before adding to his list of shortcomings. 

“The distance between the disc and the rotors is still too narrow, so you’re going to get that rubbing, you’re going to get one piston that fires more than another, you’re going to get these little issues. I don’t think the pistons quite retract the way they’re meant to all the time. Quite often it’ll work on the stand and when the mechanic sorts it out, but once you get onto the road, it’s a different story.”

But he’s going to use them anyway–and so are you:

“I accept that’s the direction the industry wants to go,” Froome said. “We bike riders are going to have to adapt and learn to use them.

“If you’re not on disc brakes already, it’s only a matter of time before you’re made obsolete and forced onto them.”

It’s all just a part of the Great Reset.

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