Well, the Mother of All Hyundai Sales Events is officially upon us! That's right, we're turning 250 this weekend, and while this country may not be perfect, I'm still both grateful and proud to call it home on this, our semisasquatchennial: That's because for all our problems we have something the rest of the world... Continue Reading →

Heat waves, earthquakes, war, rampant JCPenney closures... There's no shortage of things to be anxious about in this world. However, you can take solace in the fact that it's never been a better... [wait for it] ...TIME to be a Bicycle Fred and a Horology Fred trapped in the same body: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uc5QMpgSEOs First the million... Continue Reading →

Oh, hey, look at that, there's a new Specialized Tramac! After reading the review, I can't decide which is more ludicrous: Specialized claiming this is "the fastest road bike ever made"... After weeks of leaks and rumours, the new Specialized Tarmac SL9 has finally been officially launched. Claimed to be “the fastest road bike ever... Continue Reading →

Hey guys, check out my new Colnago watch! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIfk8X1jweo Sure, it wasn't cheap: But you can't put a price on hanging around train stations and airports and places like that just so you can wait for someone to ask you the time and then conspicuously extending your arm in order to check, thereby exposing your... Continue Reading →

The past weekend was a wet one: Fortunately I've got a bike for that: Yes, it does have a disgraceful fenderline: But while they may look like a pair of poorly drawn eyebrows... ...they are no less effective for it. They've also been on and off multiple bikes at this point, having started life a... Continue Reading →

Well, those retrogrouch renegades over at Rivendell have done it again, because their new fork redefines elegance: Pretty sure I've seen that design somewhere before, but I can't quite place it. Meanwhile, have you ever had one of those nightmares where you wake up but the world around you doesn't make any sense and you... Continue Reading →

We here at Tan Tenovo's Contrarian Font of Velocipedal Bloviation are huge supporters of ultra-mega endurance racing: And so the entire staff--that's me, Antonio the Helper Monkey (Vito's successor and third cousin), and Trek Bicycle Corporation President and CEO John Burke--would like to congratulate what's-his-name, winner of that big thing they do, who completed the... Continue Reading →

Oh, bike media. Bike media, bike media, bike media. It's HILARIOUS when an evolving futuristic technology makes a mistake like this: Yet where the hell is everyone when an entire company full of human beings makes a concerted effort to design a bike like this? Really, is it any less ridiculous? I'd take that AI... Continue Reading →

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but sometimes the beholder also has cataracts, which is the only way anybody could possibly look at this thing and like what they see: He wishes he hadn't looked at the price, but I wish I hadn't looked at the bike, because dear Lob that... Continue Reading →

Last week I mentioned that the Canadian Gravel Nationals were cancelled after the elite men's podium had already finished, and here's the story from the guy who would have been the winner: I honestly did not expect this degree of introspetion: Posting on social media, in my new role as a privateer, is a challenge.... Continue Reading →