Yesterday I lamented the current state of the sporting bicycle and pined for the elegant velocipedes of yesteryear, and I stand by that, this specimen notwithstanding:
Scoff if you will, but despite looking like it rolled out of Ultraromance’s barn only yesterday, this…thing prefigures the “alt cycling” movement by at least a decade.
Speaking of the heady decade that was the aughts (from whence the photo hails), in those days there was this thing called “bike culture,” and its preeminent videographer was Lucas Brunelle. Back then he used to film so-called “alleycats,” which were sort of like gravel races, only they took place in the city, everyone rode track bikes, and there wasn’t any gravel for miles:
[Did he really just say they hit speeds of up to 60mph?!?]
But times have changed. Brunelle has now pivoted from alleycats to solar e-bike touring:
And the fixed-gear craze has moved to Seoul…where things are not going well:
In fact selling a brakeless bike can now get you banned from Craigslist or its Korean equivalent:
The city government said Sunday that it has asked secondhand trading platforms to block sales of fixies that have had braking systems removed. A letter sent late last month urged companies to flag and automatically delete listings containing keywords such as “brake removed.” Sellers are now required to prove their bicycles are equipped with braking systems by submitting photos, and repeat violators will be banned from the platforms.
…which is apparently Craigslist:
I admit I have never understood the appeal of brakeless riding, and I understand the appeal of watching other people engage in it even less, since it looks like watching a dog dragging its ass across the carpet:
And why are the riders so obsessed with touching buses anyway?
If you’ve watched enough of these kinds of videos you know they’re always wiping their hands on buses like they’ve been picking their noses and are trying to get rid of the evidence. In fact, between the ass-dragging and the hand-wiping it seems that fixed-gear riders’ idea of rebellion is having really poor hygiene.
But none of this is to make light of the death that has inspired this latest crackdown, which sounds absolutely horrible:
On Aug. 12, a middle school student in Gwanak District was killed after crashing into an air conditioner unit while riding a no-brake fixie downhill.
Rather, it’s merely to dispel the myth that all this ass-dragging and hand-wiping is somehow cool lest more people succumb to peer pressure:
Despite the known dangers, teens admit peer pressure fuels the trend. “If you don’t remove the brakes, people call you a coward,” said a 17-year-old rider who invested nearly 20 million won ($15,000) in three bikes. “Some kids even get excluded from the group if their fixie still has brakes.”
Unfortunately I’m far too old and irrelevant for a 17-year-old in any country to listen to me, but maybe they’ll be inspired to ditch their brakeless fixed-gears for solar-powered e-bikes like the godfather of outlaw cycling, Lucas Brunelle:
Or maybe not.
Anyway, it’ll all sort itself out eventually, because as everybody knows all urban fixed-gear riders eventually move on to geared bikes with disc brakes. See, we’re told modern bikes need disc brakes because they work much better in the rain…even though apparently people no longer ride in the rain:
Here’s why, according to some guy who’s THE HEAD OF A COMPANY THAT MAKES HIGH-PERFORMANCE CYCLING CLOTHING YET DOENS’T RIDE IN THE RAIN:
Castelli developed this new top-tier cold and wet weather cycling jacket based on the idea, “How often do we actually ride in the rain?“
“Who me? I never ride in the rain”, was the answer from Steve Smith, Head of Cycling divisions for Castelli’s MCV Group parent. Smith explains there are 3 main reasons why fewer cyclists truly ride in the rain these days:
- Indoor training tools have simply gotten better. They offer ever more engaging experiences, more accurate & controllable training environments, and often take up less time out of cyclists’ busy lives.
- Weather forecasts are more accurate & more accessible. Most cyclists now have ready access to incredibly accurate weather data at their fingertips. With live radar data so easily to see on your phone, it’s easier than ever to tweak your ride time to avoid really getting wet. Maybe some days get turned into a Zwift day?
- Climate change is reducing rain days. Sure, global shifts in climate aren’t really possible to simplify. But Castelli says their data analysis shows a decreasing number of rainfall days, even if rainfall intensities are increasing, and overall rainfall totals seem more stable.
I have no doubt the Venn diagram of people who wear Castelli and people who use “indoor training tools” instead of riding in inclement weather is one solid circle, and I’ll even buy the theory that it’s easier to time your ride when you can look at your phone and see exactly where the purple blobs are before you head out on your Fred Sled. But I trust a climate change analysis from Castelli about as much as I trust a chamois cream made by Frank’s RedHot.
Castelli may also want to consider the possibility that their customer base is simply getting old. Certainly in my own experience as my bars get higher my threshold for riding in the rain only gets lower. Brands like Castelli and Assos are for aging dentists, and everyone knows the young riders are all wearing PNS jerseys now, anyway:
But what you may not know is they’re now offering a Colnago:
It’s not a bike, it’s a PNS Mechanism.