New Outside Column!

Not too long ago a bunch of bike industry big shots made some sort of “climate commitment,” but here’s why they should stop beating themselves up and leave that to the (semi-)professionals, like me:

This does not mean I’m particularly enamored with plastic bikes and electronical shifting and gratuitously affixing the word “gravel” to everything. However, it does mean I recognize that nobody’s forcing me to buy any of it. Furthermore, I also appreciate that the new stuff Freds fantasize about today will eventually become the vintage stuff retrogrouches rhapsodize about tomorrow.

Well, not all of it will age well; some of it is just gimmicky crap. But when wasn’t that true? The same goes for marketing, which is no doubt as old as time. I’m sure moments after some caveman caveperson invented the wheel, another cavehuman came out with a revolutionary new gravel wheel:

[100% wood fiber, iron axle for stiffness, and additional width for lower rolling resistance and traction on loose surfaces.]

And let’s not forget that in the late 19th century the Pennyfarthing Freds probably ridiculed the safety bicycle riders mercilessly; in fact I believe the term “safety bicycle” was meant somewhat derisively, because what could be more noob-tastic than having to ride a “safety” bike? Real cyclists ride bikes so high a fall from them is instantly fatal!

So yeah, keep making what you’re making, bike industry, and I’ll keep not buying it until 20 years later.

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