Here's Mud In Your Eye

I normally like to treat myself to a longish ride on Friday–you know, because I work so hard treating myself to rides all week and I deserve a break.

However, this morning I had various domestic errands to run which took up big chunk of my riding time, so when I got home I figured I’d just squeeze in a quick one at Highbridge.

I worried that the warmish temperatures might have softened things up too much, but apart from a few mushy places it seemed okay…at first:

Though there were a number of downed trees from the high winds we had recently:

Shoulda brung my artisanal axe:

Inasmuch as I am an inveterate city-slicker, it will not surprise you in the least to learn that I’ve never, ever used this thing–unless you count occasionally digging it out and showing it to my son so he can go, “Whoah!”

Now that he’s joined the Scouts that may change, because sooner or later I’m going to have to go camping with him, and I’ll probably bring it along with me. Because if there’s one thing you want on your camping trip, it’s a total axe novice.

Anyway, despite the downed trees and occasional soft spots, I pressed on:

Highbridge is basically a few trails cut into the side of a cliff. Clearly the face of that cliff had been drinking in the sun, because as soon as I got to the steep portion I hit a patch of greasy mud that was as slippery as ice slathered in chicken fat:

At least I hope it was mud, because at Highbridge you really never know.

Anyway, it soon came apparent that a good portion of the park was unrideably slippery, and between not wanting to damage the trails and my deep mortal fear of the composition of this “mud” I made my way back to the streets and onto some of New York City’s finest bicycle infrastructure:

Of course, as soon as tried to ride any faster than 10mph, chunks of Highbridge mystery mud would dislodge themselves from my knobby tires and fly into my face, so I did my best to ride with my mouth closed.

I mean, any ride is better than no ride, but here I am laughing at Lucas Brunelle, and meanwhile the guy’s cruising around sunny Miami while I’m dodging garbage trucks in the bike lane and trying not to eat mud containing an indeterminate amount of human feces:

Hey, at least I know where I stand.

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