It’s Veterans Day, my annual reminder of how deeply fortunate I am that so many people give so much so that I can do so little:
Speaking of being lazy, as you know I commute to Brooklyn two whole times a week, and yesterday I undertook that commute by bicycle:
I know what you’re thinking: “18 miles each way by bicycle? That’s not lazy at all! Most people’s car commutes are shorter than your walk from the bike rack to your office.” Well sure, that may be true. However, keep in mind that this time I commuted on an electric bicycle:
Yes, that’s right, an electric bicycle. And I’m not even going to bother telling you it’s not mine, because you won’t believe me, and anyway the truth is it’s my younger son’s, which I’m sure you think is even worse.
They say the universe tends towards chaos, but this is not true; in fact, it tends towards irony. Consider, for example, the fact that I’ve been obsessed with bicycles and the riding of them for as long as I remember, to the extent that I’ve dedicated my life to writing about them on a daily basis for the enjoyment of four or five people–and yet my own child doesn’t really care for them, even though he learned how to ride one at the age of three in what felt like about 45 minutes.
Now, a lot of people will mouth off about how you need to TELL YOUR KIDS WHAT TO DO GODDAMN IT, but it doesn’t really work that way. Sure, you can make them do the things they have to do, like go to school and brush their teeth, and you can also refuse to give them the things they want but shouldn’t have, like sportsbook accounts and hand grenades. But you simply cannot tell them what to like and who to be, it just doesn’t work like that. So I cannot force my kid to love bikes and be a cyclist.
The fact that he was born without the obsessive cyclist gene (which is really a blessing and not a curse, bikes have ruined my life, if I’d spent all this time and money more responsibly I might actually be successful now) is one thing, but on top of that it’s very hilly where we live. People think of New York City as flat, but that’s not true of the Upper Manhattan and the Bronx–especially this part of the Bronx, which sits at high elevation on a ridge overlooking the Hudson River, which is why it was a strategic location during the Revolutionary War.
The upshot is that any ride will probably involve at least one very steep hill. If you love riding bikes that’s not a problem; in fact it’s probably something you enjoy. It’s one of the reasons I moved here from crêpe-flat, boring-ass Brooklyn, the most pretentious place on Long Island. But if you don’t love riding bikes, hills only strengthen your resolve to avoid doing so whenever possible. And my younger son belongs in that latter category.
Still, sometimes you just want to be able to go places on bikes together–maybe just to save time over walking or driving, or maybe because it’s a beautiful day and you want to go to the Botanical Gardens or something. So it seemed to me that in such situations we had three choices: not ride at all; force him to ride and turn disinclination into deep resentment; or…maybe try an e-bike? So back in the early spring we went to a bike shop and purchased a pedal-assist e-bike from a major bicycle brand. It did not turn him into a cyclist, contrary to the claims of some e-bike evangelists, nor did it turn him into a delinquent, contrary to the claims of some e-bike detractors:
Mostly the e-bike has just been convenient, in that we can simply ride places when we need to now with less of a fuss. Also, probably the best thing about it is that if I want him to pick him up someplace and I don’t want to drive I can just ride his e-bike there and wheel my own bike alongside of me. This is something I’ve done often on a regular bike, too, but it’s way easier with the e-bike in a hilly neighborhood like this one.
Am I setting a pernicious example and inadvertently teaching him to always take the easy way out? Maybe, but I don’t think so. Life will present him with all sorts of challenges as he grows up, and I doubt this alone will determine how he faces them. Am I just like those people who buy their 10 year-old kids $3,800 e-mountain bikes with dropper posts? In a way, sure, but he’s in middle school and not 10, this is for getting around locally and not tearing up the backwoods, and he has put in plenty of time on a regular bicycle. (I say he “doesn’t ride,” but I’m a cycling obsessive, and even my “non-cyclist” child has spent more time on bikes than most children.) Believe me, I’ve flagellated myself for being a hypocrite and a bad parent, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned as an American it’s that sometimes you’ve just got to give up and throw money at the problem.
As for the bike, it’s a medium-sized step-through, so it’s easy for him to handle yet big enough that he won’t outgrow it anytime soon. In fact, it’s big enough that even I can get away with riding it–and while I rarely do, I decided to try commuting on it yesterday to finally see what all the fuss is about:
Overall, it did not transform my bicycle commute, but–surprise!–it did make it easier. In particular, the bulk of my route is along the Hudson River Greenway, which as all local cyclists know can subject you to very strong headwinds, as was the case that morning:
[You can’t see the wind, but it was there]
Headwinds can be demoralizing, especially on a commute where you’re just trying to get somewhere already. So yes, being able to remain in a comfortable upright position without having to get into an aero tuck or otherwise actively struggle to make forward progress was certainly a relief. So that was a big one.
At the same time, it did not fundamentally change the way I rode. For example, I have frequently lamented the manner in which riders on the Greenway fail to yield to pedestrians. This day was no exception, though it’s less of a problem now that it’s getting cold and there are fewer people riding and recreating on the bike path:
While you’d think the faster e-bike might make me less inclined to yield, it actually had the opposite effect. Mostly this is because I’m a morally superior human being who should be shortlisted for a Nobel Prize, but it’s also because with the assist it’s easier to get going again after you’ve stopped, so there’s really no downside. The lesson here is that people on regular bikes who don’t yield to pedestrians should merely be slapped, but people on e-bikes who don’t yield to pedestrians on e-bikes should be repeatedly caned.
Also, while I went faster overall, I really didn’t go that much faster. It took me exactly an hour to get to Golf Tee Island, which is how I generally gauge my pace on my commute, and if I recall correctly I made about the same time on the Roaduno:
Also, while I probably passed a few riders I might not have otherwise, I was still passed by, cut off by, and generally annoyed by all the riders on pedal-less e-motorcycles, high-speed stand-up e-scooters, and even e-Citi Bikers to the same extent I usually am.
The same was true of the return commute:
Though I saved more time because there’s a lot more climbing on the way home:
I didn’t time everything very carefully, but I’d estimate that going to Brooklyn I saved around 10 minutes, and coming back home I saved around 15 minutes–not nothing, but the ride still took me longer each way than the subway. As for how much effort I expended, I don’t really keep track of that stuff, but as I type this I realize that my phone or my watch does, so I looked it up. Here’s what yesterday’s e-bike commute looked like:
And here’s what my last commute on the Homer looked like:
I don’t know how to read any of that. Clearly I worked harder on the Homer, but just how much I can’t say. Perhaps some Fitness Fred can go ahead and analyze it for me.
As for my perception, it definitely took the edge off, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t appreciate working less on that final climb when I just wanted to be home and eating dinner already . However, as I say, it still took longer than the subway, which is the main reason I commute that way most of the time–and obviously you’re just as exposed to the elements on an e-bike as you are on a regular bike, so in that regard there’s no advantage. These days I only commute by bike occasionally, and when I do so I do it for fun, so for that reason an e-bike would be unlikely to make much of a difference in my routine or my preferences. Where it would make a difference would be if, say, the entire transit system went on strike and I had to ride. In that scenario I could certainly see opting for the e-bike over the regular bike at least some of the time.
In short: hyper-fast e-contraptions that atomize cyclists on the bike path and off-label batteries that immolate families? Very bad. But pedal-assist e-bikes seem fairly harmless and convenient. I don’t think they’ll save the world, but they probably won’t destroy it either.