Little did I know that when I announced the Great Tan Tenovo Meh-roica Bike Pageantry Pageant…
Sponsored by Dumonde Tech, the anointing oil* of bicycle lubricants…
*[Now with more frankincense!]
…that I’d be undertaking one of the greatest challenges of my blogular career, if not my entire life.
And if you think that means blogging is easy, or that my life is easy, well…you’re right. But that’s not making this any easier. Consider:
I was ready to toss this one right into the “Nah” pile, but I’ll be darned if it didn’t make me think:
Triple crank, though this may not be obvious from the photo.
I may be technically dq’d because I am not the owner.
Another technical gray area: Define “integrated shifter.” This bikes shifters are integrated into the handlebars, right? So that should count.
Sorry photo isn’t drive-side. I wanted to capture the kickstand.
The owner is commuting regularly on this bike. If mehroica means to show that the performance road bike profile of this era retains enduring value despite it’s apparent over-specificity of purpose and subsequent obsolescence, I think the fact that this bike is still used daily is the best proof you could hope for.
Unfortunately he’s right and you can’t submit a bike you don’t own, so no lube for you:
Then there was a three–count ’em, three–bike submission. I already mentioned recently (though I’m too lazy to figure out where) that I was uncertain of how to handle two-bike submissions, since I didn’t expressly prohibit it. But three? Plus, they’re all spectacular:
Yep, nailed it.
Yep, nailed it again
Oops, ineligible, the rules specifically prohibit tires with a nominal width over 25mm.
Still, the other two are right in the sweet spot, so I thought very hard about awarding the prize to the entrant so I’d finally be done with it. But then I checked what time the email came in:
Fri, Oct 16, 12:07 PM
Oops, too late, the deadline was noon:
But I don’t feel bad about it, because this person has some very nice bikes to console him. Plus it’s perfectly reasonable to ask whether someone with such nice bikes even deserves to win the lube in the first place. To be honest, giving a prize to someone with a Moots feels a little wrong, though I do like the idea of one Moots owner rolling up to another and asking if he has any Dumonde like in that old Grey Poupon commercial:
It’s been 45 years and only now am I realizing eating a meal like that in the back of a car–even a Rolls Royce–would be completely impossible. In fact two minutes after that mustard exchange I bet the chauffeur had to swerve to avoid a cyclist and that prime rib went sliding right off that mahogany dining tray, leaving a pile of broken china in the footwell.
And less you quibble about my strict adherence to the rules and say that a mere seven minutes past the deadline is nothing…uh, no. Tell that to someone who’s behind by “only” that much in a Grand Tour! Also, in plenty of situations, seven minutes could easily be the difference between life and death, like when a cow is sitting on your face. And in a game of “Seven Minutes In Heaven” it’s more than enough time for someone to get pregnant.
Speaking of close calls, this one was very close indeed…
But then…
Ouch.
When I say 25mm nominal clearance or less, I mean it.
Let’s hear it for the clearance on those 105 brakes though:
Too bad, that was a good one.
This one on the other hand appears to be a bona-fide contender:
At first I thought the frame must be too old, but that could be a 1990, right?
I really hope so, because I’m tempted to award it a prize for the crank alone:
Sure, you could save a handful of grams by using a Record crank and bottom bracket instead of, say, Centaur. OR…now hear me out…you could just drill the shit out of a Centaur crank instead. The first solution makes sense, but just as there’s beauty in imperfection, there’s also a certain elegance in absurdity.
Do you know how badly I want to drill out the crank of my own Meh-roica bike now? I bet I could get that baby down to near-double weight:
Perhaps getting back on that bike will give me the inspiration I need to finally choose a winner, since I don’t think I’ve ridden it since the leaves have changed:
Instead I’ve been riding this, which straddles either end of the Meh-roica chronological cut-off like a rider on a bike with a ridiculously wide Q-factor:
Basically, the frame is too old and the drivetrain is too new, though I would like to point out for the billionth time how great it is that you can take an old road bike and put it together with parts spanning like 40 years without even having to resort to any trickery.
And finally, let’s take a moment to celebrate a brave New York City rider who fought off three assailants with…
…the Stanley Cup?!?
Wait, sorry, it was a Stanley cup, not the Stanley Cup.
Specifically it was an Eeyore Stanley cup:
The headline did make me wonder at first if perhaps the story was about Sean Avery, the former hockey pro known for defending the bike lanes of New York City from entitled motorists old guys with shopping carts:
But consulting a popular search engine indicates that Sean Avery does not in fact have a Stanley Cup.
Sorry, I don’t follow hockey, and the only player I really know anything about is the great Billy Stemhovilichski.
As for our hero, not only did she clobber one of the lowlives with the Stanley, but she notes her helmet helped deflect their punches:
Apparently felony assaults have been rising for the past six years, so expect the city to start promoting pedestrian helmets soon.
Oh, and further to yesterday’s post, the rider’s compact bike is a good illustration of why a mini velo can be a good choice for a citydweller:
I love my Platypus very very much…
…but it would not be fun in the stairwell of a walk-up.