In recent years we’ve all had to adjust to the fact that Portland’s (the one in Oregon) heyday as a cycling superpower is far behind it, but is Copenhagen meeting the same fate?
If so, you can blame young people, who as we all know are ruining everything:
This decline may seem modest, but at a population level it represents tens of thousands of fewer regular cycle commuters – in a country where conditions are relatively favourable. Think bike lanes across towns and cities, cycling infrastructure on trains and on buses, and political support for cycling as everyday transport rather than a niche recreation.
For young people aged 15-19, the decline in cycling to their place of education (at least three days per week) is even more pronounced: from 39% in 2020, to 32.3% in 2025. If this decline continues, the future of Denmark as a cycling nation is looking bleak.
Though the writer says it’s because cars aren’t expensive enough:
And this is perhaps where Danish politicians have dropped the ball in the past decade, as policy changes have made car ownership cheaper.
And that cycling must be “perceived as the easiest, cheapest, quickest and healthiest form of transport for short distances:”
If cycling levels are to grow, policies must also tackle everyday realities: time constraints, safety perceptions, workplace facilities, social norms and ingrained car dependence.
To succeed, cycling must be perceived as the easiest, cheapest, quickest and healthiest form of transport for short distances.
Hmmm. I don’t know anything about Denmark, but this is the Internet, so that’s not going to stop me from having an opinion. According to roughly half a second of popular search engine jockeying, Denmark is still among the most expensive places in the world to own a car, so I can’t imagine that’s the reason. And as for the thing about “perception,” that makes even less sense, since either the bicycle is the easiest, cheapest, quickest and healthiest form of transport for short distances, or it’s not–and obviously it is. So I’ll just go ahead and lay this at the feet of these goddamn fickle young people. Also, while I’m at it, I’ll also allocate some of the blame to Mikael Colville-Andersen, Denmark’s preeminent urbanist and bicycle advocate:
Here in America, bicycle advocates tend to alienate people because they’re huge dorks, though for decades now Colville-Andersen has proved you can alienate people just as effectively by going Full Douche:
I’ve always had trouble reconciling the slogan above with his stated mission, which is considerably more benign:
Everything I do — every project, every photo, every line on paper — is driven by one simple mission: to do whatever I can to try and make cities better for the people who live in them.
This is like a grocery store dedicated to selling healthy good choosing to go with motto, “Eat Shit, Asshole.”
At this point it’s time to come to terms with the fact that bicycle advocacy in any form is a complete waste of time. What other conclusion can one possibly draw? We’ve tried flattery, guilt, and even harnessed the power of relatable everyman David Byrne:
Hey, if this guy can’t get people out of their F-150s then nobody will.
We’ve even built thousands of miles of bike lanes, only for people to completely ditch their bikes in favor of small, high-speed battery-powered motor vehicles. So it’s time to face facts and embrace the only two segments of the population who are going to sustain cycling going forward. Who are they, you ask?
- Terminal Freds, gravelistas, and the assorted forces of weeniedom who ride simply because they’re obsessed and suffer from borderline personality disorder;
- People cycling for causes, because for reasons nobody really understands the bicycle is the preeminent vehicle for fundraising and for “raising awareness.”
With regard to that second group, here is a typical example:
And like most people raising money for a cause by riding a bike, they’re doing it in a wildly inefficient and self-indulgent manner:
A man from Derbyshire is cycling 425 miles dressed as an orangutan in aid of the species.
Peter McEvoy, from South Wingfield, started his ride in Sheaf Square, Sheffield, on Monday, and aims to finish the seven-day journey at the Eiffel Tower in Paris on Sunday.
McEvoy is cycling an average of 60 to 75 miles a day (97km to 121km) to raise £1,500 for the Sumatran Orangutan Society (SOS).
Riding 425 miles to raise a measly 1,500 British Complacency Units?!? Couldn’t he just have a yard sale or something? At the very least I bet he could have raised a hell of a lot more by having an actual orangutan do the ride:
Just don’t ask any cyclists for money to help save the orangutans, because they’d much rather spend it on plastic wheels:
Here are the wheels in question:
Yoeleo sent me their brand-new QianKun wheels, which sit at the premium end of the Yoeleo range, and there’s some seriously impressive technology here. Most notably, you get carbon spokes rather than conventional steel spokes, a 23mm internal hooked rim, and a claimed weight of just 1,185g.
“Yoeleo” is of course an acronym for “You Only Ever Live Ever Once.”
To save the you the trouble of reading the article, the answer is, “Yes, the carbon wheels absolutely transformed the bike.” However, at no point does he address the orangutan in the room, which is the tires:
He does mention that on the old wheels he was using Maxxis Detonator 28mm. According to Maxxis’s website, that’s a 27 TPI wire bead tire that weighs 310 grams. However, he seems to go out of his way not to mention what tires he’s using with the plastic wheels. Fortunately there’s also a video, and we can easily see for ourselves:
So that’s a Vittoria Corsa Pro, and it appears to be a 30mm. According to Vittoria’s website, it weights 285 grams and has a 320 TPI cotton casing. This is a massive difference–plus the new rims are wider, too:
So do the wheels perform better because the “carbon spokes…add so much stiffness” (LOL)?
Or is it because he made a simple tire swap that’s equivalent to the difference between pleasuring yourself while wearing these:
And wearing these?
Factor in the additional rim width and it’s no wonder he’s in Wanker Heaven:
No doubt the lighter weight helps a bit too, but the tire change probably brought him 85% of the way there, and the slightly wider rim was good for another 10%.
But sure, if you’re looking for a smoother ride, absolutely you should start with a pair of $1,650 wheels, because they’re cheaper than “western” brands:
Chinese brands have been transforming the prices of wheels and bikes in recent years, and you can now get a set of carbon-spoke wheels for what a fairly standard set of carbon wheels from a western brand used to cost.
That’s about what you’d pay for seven pairs of Vittoria Corsa Pros.