The world of bikes sure does move fast! Take a couple weeks off as I just did and before you know it you’re totally lost. For example, I completely missed the MADE (WHY ARE THEY YELLING?) bike show in Liberal Hellscape, OR:
However, I’ve been doing my best to get caught up, and I think the gist of it is a bunch of people with thigh tattoos stood around exhibiting bikes designed to look 35 years old, only with irreverent and/or ironic brand names like “Hot Salad” and “Microwaved Fish.” Then people on the Internet gushed about how amazing they were and said stuff like, “The rim brake’s not dead!,” which makes me really angry because the rim brake is absolutely 100% dead, and the people who killed it are the very same ones who leave Internet comments like “The rim brake’s not dead!” yet in real life were the first people to buy “innovations” like 1x drivetrains and disc brakes and electronic everything and a derailleur you can stand on for some reason:
[From here.]
Clearly I’ve underestimated the number of people who need to stop mid-ride in order to change a lightbulb.
By the way, the full name of the show is the MADE Handmade Bike Show, and Stevil over at All Hail The Black Market offers some useful perspective on that:
Though as someone who strives for political correcteness I object to the slur “honky,” because the proper term is “Fashionably Tattooed American.”
And yes, before you get all indignant, I fully acknowledge the real reason I’m cynical about the MADE show is because I’m irrelevant and uncool and nobody invited me.
Something else I missed was the Roadini presale:
Though that doesn’t matter because not only does it appear there are still Roadinis available, but also it turns out I already have a Roadini:
This was the bike I took with me on my vacation, and it left me wanting for nothing, regardless of whether I was riding on paved roads…
…or unpaved roads surfaced with Very Small Rocks:
I mean sure, I did occasionally choose to ignore a sign or two:
And consequently got in a little over my head:
But back on New Year’s Even when I first assembled this bike, I did so with summer vacation maximization foremost in my mind, and I daresay I succeeded in that regard:
We’ve been adjourning to the same location every summer for the past 10 years, and over that time I’ve brought different bikes for different rides, but in terms of sheer versatility I’m not sure any of them beats the Roadini:
Absolutely the Jones has taken me much deeper in the woods, but the older I get the more I realize the foolhardiness of venturing deep into the woods by myself where there’s no phone reception and you can easily get hurt or lost–and I mean properly lost, like this guy:
I don’t wanna be that guy.
Speaking of getting lost, we took a little side trip while we were away, and it turns out if you keep heading north for a couple hours you wind up in an entirely different country. Like, they speak another language and everything!
This is why pedestrians should always wear helmets.
Also, you don’t only have to worry about falling ice. You also have to be on the lookout for falling underpants:
And if you haven’t yet figured out which city this is, the answer is Paris, France:
I mean Berlin, Germany:
I mean…honestly, I still have no idea where we were. All I know is they spoke French and they ate bagels:
They sure like to put weird shit on bagels:
Also, fashion-wise, they’re apparently still stuck in 2007 when the urban fixie was king:
Though out on the streets they’re riding e-bikes just like everyone else:
It was an enjoyable trip, though I was happy to retreat to the wilderness once again:
I’ve got no shortage of urbanity in my life.