Hi it’s so great to be back.
Not that I’m complaining, mind you. For example, just before leaving for vacation I received a package from the Old Spokes Home in Vermont. Not only did it contain these hot dog roasting tongs:
But even more incredibly it was also replete with Biopace [pronounced “BEE-oh-pa-chay,” and make that Italian hand gesture while you say it] chainrings:
Generally speaking, the only less desirable component than a Biopace chainring is a yellowed pie plate. However, as the cycling world knows, I am an avid Biopace proponent:
And now that the Old Spokes Home has finally divested themselves of theirs, this officially makes me the world’s foremost living repository* of Biopace chainrings, and I can only assume a box of yellowed pie plates will soon follow.
*[I mean sure, noted Biopace proponent Sheldon Brown probably had more than I do, but I shouldn’t have to remind you he’s no longer alive.]
Then again, on closer inspection it turns out some of the Biopace chainrings are bogus, and are in fact Sugino’s take on the concept, which they called “Cycloid:”
It’s amazing Sugino felt the need to copy Biopace since nobody even wanted the real Biopace, and it would be decades before any company came up with branding more unfortunate than Cycloid:
[Just another Cycloid dressed like a PNS.]
So will I be using these Biopace (and Cycloid) chainrings? You bet I will! Granted, I’ve never used a Cycloid chainring, and rumor has it that if you mix Cycloid and Biopace chainrings on the same crank your joints will seize and your knees will explode–though personally I think that’s a lie and I suspect there’s probably a synergistic effect that will launch me into supersonic speeds.
By the way, 45 seconds of Internet research reveals that apparently Cycloid is still a thing, since as we all know elliptical chainrings did wind up catching on after all:
I cannot wait to Super Hill Climb.