It’s hot to ride on the road with the sun beating down on you and it’s hot to ride on the trails what with all the bugs and the humidity and so I try to split the difference and seek shady lanes wherever possible:
This trail can be a bit crowded with perambulators on the weekends, but during the week it’s mostly just me and the deer:
And the occasional abandoned scooter:
Presumably the terrain overwhelmed its diminutive wheels, which is why the rider should have gotten one of those new gravel scooters:
Why does everyone these days look like they’re exploring the surface of an alien planet?
Meanwhile, here’s something you already knew:
They really are one of the absolute dumbest “upgrades” of the last 20 years, and that’s saying a lot:
Summing up his arguments, Poertner criticises what he sees as a lack of margin for error with hookless rims, saying they’re unlike “any other historical cycling product” in this regard.
“In our lab, on highly calibrated equipment, we’ve seen tyres that are approved to work with [hookless] rims blow off as low as 78psi… It’s just such a safety risk for no other benefit.”
I think the “lack of margin for error” was also a problem with press-fit bottom brackets but those only creaked, they didn’t explode in a tragi-comic sealant-soaked money shot.
Moreover, hookless rims are also just the latest in a series of scams, all of which serve to sustain the giant Ponzi scheme that is “carbon fiber.” See, according to Jan Heine, you need hookless because it’s easier to make carbon rims that way:
Just like you needed disc brakes on road bikes because carbon rims suck as a braking service:
Seriously, absolutely nobody asked for disc brakes on road bikes, least of all the pro racers.
But it’s all worth it. See, we needed carbon rims because…wait, why did we need carbon rims again?
For that matter, why is nobody’s gluing their tires to their wheels anymore?
The answer of course is that they finally came up with something even dumber:
But lest you think I’m just some knee-jerk retrogrouchalist who automatically rejects anything new, I can assure you I’m tremendously excited about the new Pinarello gravel bikes:
The Pinarello gravel line-up consists of the DOGMA GR (that’s “GR” for “Grrr!” because it’s FIERCE), and the Grevil F (which is a portmanteau of the words “Great” and “evil” but with an “F” on the end because a hidden Bluetooth speaker plays this whenever you ride it):
Pinarello just announced two updated gravel lines: the all-new DOGMA GR and the updated Grevil F series. Both are for the gravel way of life, but with different intentions. The DOGMA GR is the brand’s race bike, designed for maximum performance, similar to a road bike that accommodates 45mm tires. The other is the Grevil F, a more “classic” gravel bike, with the ability to do more than race (it has already proven that). The Grevil F can take on multiday racing, carry your camping gear, and in an instant, throw down at the front of the world’s fastest gravel races.
I knew even before reading the review that I’d be buying at least one of these bikes, and I’m pretty sure it’ll be the $14,000 DOGMAN GRRR, because “you know it means business” AND it “goes where you point it:”
From the moment you see the DOGMA GR, you know it means business. The bike has a look to it (and paint) that exudes style. The lines and the shapes are powerful. It took the best parts (for gravel) from the Pinarello Crossista, the DOGMA F, and the DOGMA XC and boiled them down to a fast gravel machine. I say “fast gravel” because this bike feels like a road bike. It’s responsive, lightweight, and goes where you point it – but let’s not get too far ahead.
It’s a real problem that none of my current bicycles go where you point them no matter how hard I try. Every night I line them up neatly, only to return in the morning to find them all pointing inexplicably towards magnetic north. That alone is a reason to buy the DOGMAGR.
Of course, for $14,000 you wouldn’t want to be comfortable over long distances:
The DOGMA GR isn’t a comfort gravel bike. It’s designed to move quickly and turn your efforts into forward momentum. That said, the bike rides like a more capable cyclocross bike. It’s fast in the places you want it to be quick, and it’s an asset on the pavement. However, I couldn’t see spending a 200-mile day on this bike, and that’s a good thing, because that’s not what it was designed for.
In fact, if you ever buy a $14,000 bike and find you’re able to ride it for 200 miles, you can be sure you were totally ripped off, because that’s not what $14,000 bikes are designed to do.
Meanwhile, the Grevil F “didn’t have the same ‘pop'” as the DOGMAGA, but it did feel more comfortable:
On the road and climbs, I could tell it didn’t have the same “pop” as the DOGMA GR. The DOGMA GR feels like a road bike, in the best sense of the word. The Grevil F felt more like a gravel bike that I’m used to, responsive but not as stiff as a road machine.
So basically it had wider tires on it.
Fuck it, I’m buying a gravel scooter.