Yesterday I mentioned L’Eroica, and today I came across this:
L’Eroica? No, L’Intrepida!
A whole other vintage ride? I had no idea there was a Shimano to L’Eroica’s Campagnolo. It has it all, too: the hairnets, the handlebar mustaches, the tubular tire bras…
“Strung out and sweating?” Are they riding or undergoing heroin withdrawal? Also, if you’ll look closely this rider is using [clutches tubular tire bra] DUAL-PIVOT BRAKES:
I noticed it even before his cockeyed right foot–and I might add that as a vintage footwear enthusiast his modern shoes also offended me. It could be why he’s having trouble getting into his toe clip. I mean some of us go out of our way to be as pretentious period-correct as possible:
I made a Poshmark account to buy those for chrissakes!
But yes, if it’s a pre-1987 ride then the dual-pivot brake wouldn’t be kosher as those didn’t come out until, what, 1990 or so? Also, if nothing else, if you’re going to use non-aero brake levers, connecting them to a dual-pivot brake seems like a bit of whatever the Italian equivalent of a faux pas is.
And look, I know it’s really about the spirit of the thing, and that it’s silly to get hung up on dates and all that stuff, but what can I say? It’s disgusting and offensive and repugnant and shouldn’t be allowed. I certainly hope the Italian government cracks down on the ride and doesn’t allow it to run next year, because that sort of historical revisionism is downright dangerous.
[Intern: Insert “Just Kidding” image here.]
And if all that wasn’t bad enough, the article badly mischaracterizes the Kestrel 4000:
“Japan’s Shimano corporation?!?” EGADS!!! I did not ride a Kestrel 4000 with a low gear of 42×21 through the mountains of Switzerland only for the mighty Vengeance Bike to be slandered like that:
Did I mention I did it all with a low gear of 42×21?
Because I did:
Just thought I’d mention that in case you forgot.
Anyway, all of this is to say I’d just assumed that L’Eroica owned the concept of riding vintage road bikes outright, and now I feel like an idiot for sending them a royalty every time I ride the Cervino. In fact, now that I know it’s allowed, not only am I going to cut their royalty payments in half, but I’m also thinking of starting my own vintage ride. I’ve even got a name for it:
L’Irritabile
There won’t be a strict date cutoff, since the ride will be more about having fun than anything else, but if you show up with a pair of dual-pivot brakes so help me I’ll kill you.
Then again, does the world need yet another vintage ride where everyone’s wearing wool and riding lugged steel bikes? Maybe I’ll do a vintage crabon ride instead. I’ll call it “Il Giro di Dispetto,” and it’ll be a big vaffanculo to all the people who predicted these bikes would have catastrophically failed by now. (Though it would be pretty ironic if they all failed on the ride, which is why you’ll have to sign an iron-clad waiver. Yes, the waiver will be clad in iron–none of that crabon crap!) Or maybe I’ll be even more specific and organize a ride for Y-Foils only:
Obviously I’d call that one the “Oglio Della Moglie.”
[Intern: go get me a sandwich. Also, go find an Italian and verify these translations.]
Speaking of going back in time, remember Rob Ford?
If you don’t, he used to appear regularly on the pages of this blog (or at least its predecessor), and here’s the TLDR: he was the mayor of Toronto, he absolutely hated bike lanes, he had a fondness for crack, and he died in 2016. Well, little did I know that his brother Doug is continuing the tradition (of hating bike lanes, anyway, I don’t know about the crack):
Firstly, what is it with Canadians having brothers named Doug?
[Yes, my references are seriously dated. This is because I apply the L’Eroica concept to my prose.]
Secondly, this is just disgusting:
“Taken a back seat!?!” I object to this car-centric language which is very hurtful to cyclists, and I demand all municipal employees and journalists undergo sensitivity training immediately. As of now the following “harmless” colloquialisms shall be deemed UNACCEPTABLE:
Take A Back Seat
Instead, say “drafting” or “wheelsucking”
Pump Your Brakes
This is offensive and othering to cyclists, who squeeze their brakes…though I guess now that hydraulic disc brakes are taking over you might have to pump your brakes if you’ve got air in the lines
Pedal To The Metal
Not only don’t cyclists apply power this way, but motorists colonized the word pedal from us. Ironically though we’re fine with throttles thanks to e-bikes, go figure, so just say ” twist the throttle” or “engage the pedal assist” instead, I guess
Disappearing In The Rear View Mirror
If you must allude to a mirror, at least specify a helmet mirror
Stay In Your Lane
This is a reference to highways, which are racist, divide communities, and cause climate change. Also, cyclists can’t “stay in their lane” because there’s usually a car in it. Say “get out of the bike lane” instead.
And finally, speaking of staying out of the bike lane and being aggrieved, another cyclist has been sent into “harm’s way:”
Not only was @NYPD78Pct parked in the bike lane (sending this cyclist into harm’s way) but the officers failed to ticket the illegally parked trucks further east (in the background). What’s up, @NYPDTransport? pic.twitter.com/X6h8XiwCNl
— Streetsblog New York (@StreetsblogNYC) October 28, 2024
Wow, looks terrifying. Perhaps the rider would have an easier time returning to the bike lane if there weren’t a photographer standing in it.
Sorry, I should probably stay in my lane.