Sometimes I wake up in a cold sweat worried that the cycling industry is not doing enough to save the planet:
Like, you’d think making bikes–still the most efficient mode of transportation humanity has every devised–would be enough, right?
Apparently though 65 percent of people who answered some kind of survey do in fact want to see the bike industry engage in “climate advocacy:”
The story says “only” but 65% sounds like a lot to me–though as someone who’d be willing to pay a premium for them to shut up about it once and for all I realize I’m biased. No offense to John Burke, of course:
People give him a hard time, but I like that John Burke thinks he can fix everything:
Granted, I haven’t read the book, but I think it’s cute he’s always making earnest to-do lists:
I don’t know what a single one of those 16 “detailed solutions” is, but I find the utter futility of the whole endeavor oddly endearing.
As for the video, it’s also basically a list, though he starts off with a story about riding with Rory Kennedy 10 years ago:
Wait, he believes in climate change and the moon landing?!? What’s next, Burke? Evolution?!?
Anyway, he goes on to explain that she told him in 10 years this is what people (presumably the ones who are left after the planet climate changes us to death) will be saying:
Keep in mind this was ten years ago, and nobody today is speaking in the past tense. In fact, I even checked the Climate Clock:
And according to them we’ve still got four whole years left–maybe even more if we get more women in parliaments:
Why is more women in parliaments good for the planet? I have no idea. As far as I can tell the climate is basically an angry god that must be appeased. But I’m not going to argue with any of it lest someone accuse me of being a climate change denier.
Now, what I’m getting here is that 10 years ago Rory Kennedy told John Burke we have 10 years, so he immediately started doing some climate stuff at Trek, and now here we are 10 years later, nobody’s speaking in the past tense, and we still have four more years even according to the whackadoodles who run the Climate Clock:
[Greta gets whatever she wants. That’s what makes Greta Greta.]
So from all of this we can safely conclude that John Burke is taking credit for single-handedly saving the planet.
Nice job, John Burke. That was a close one.
So how did he save the planet? I’m not sure; I skipped through the video, but I think he started shipping bikes in smaller boxes. Though it is worth noting that 10 years ago Trek had only one bicycle that required a battery:
[From here.]
And now they’ve got a metric assload of bikes that require batteries:
Like, basically they’ve electrified like half their catalog. And that’s not counting all the non-e-bikes that still need batteries just to shift. Even a 105-level road bike needs to be plugged in these days.
(Here is an honest question: is a Trek T80+ still viable today? Can you get replacement batteries for it? I really have no idea.)
So I ask you ladies and gentlemen: How did we manage take the most efficient machine ever created and undermine that efficiency by putting a bunch of gratuitous batteries all over it that have to be mined, all while congratulating ourselves for all the things we’re been doing to save the planet?
And yes, I get it–the batteries require more resources than the regular bikes, but that’s offset by the fact that e-bikes are getting people out of their cars. Oh, wait–
I’m not saying e-bikes haven’t become a meaningful part of the transportation landscape; all I’m saying is that we just keep driving more and more no matter what. See that dip? Basically, locking people in their homes and telling them they’re going to die is about it is the only way to keep people in this country from driving.
So I’d love to congratulate the bicycle industry for all it’s doing to save the planet, and I’ll absolutely do so just as soon as all these companies announce that they’ll no longer produce bikes that require batteries and that they’ll cease helmet production immediately.
Fake fact I just made up: 32% of that plastic will be bicycle helmets.
And in other sustainability news, I completely missed that Vittoria’s making a new tire out of food and garbage:
If they can make a good tire out of old crap then that is genuinely fantastic. Still, I really don’t want to live in a world where people treat riding on black tires like wearing a fur coat:
Also, while the raw materials may be different, we’ve ridden down this road on over-inflated tires before:
Remember the colored tire craze of the late ’90s and early aughts?
You can guess who pointed out the folly of this at the time:
I admit to not knowing much about tire compounds, but I do know tires are mostly black again, and I’m guessing this is why. Continental used sell colored tires and market its “Activated Silica Compound,” but now their tires are black and they’re pushing the soot content instead:
I guess “black soot” doesn’t have the same ring to it.
As for the new Vittorias, I guess they’re still being tested:
That seems like something you’d want to know. But the color matches the dirt, which should make them a hit on the gravel scene.
Spoeaking of gravel, a reader informs me that the New York Times says this is the best book:
And that it’s like riding a bike on gravel:
Slippery and nerve-racking? Must’ve been using those recycled tires.
Wonder what pressure they were running…