Memorial Day weekend is upon us, and I can feel you’ve got antses in your chamoiseses, but you’re not going anywhere until you finish this quiz.
So sit still dammit!
Of course it’s also Fleet Week here in New York, and they no longer close the west side path to cyclists while it’s happening, which means you get to admire the ships and the seamen in their brilliant white sailor suits as you ride:
I’m not sure which vessel this is so maybe a Boat Fred can help me out on that.
This weekend also marks the unofficial start of summer, and on my return, further up the Hudson the sky was streaked with the pastel hues of the setting sun:
Perhaps this color palette was also the inspiration for this cousin of the Normcore Bike:
I’d like to think there exists a sort of Brotherhood of the Bonded Aluminum Trek (not that it’s in any way limited to males, I just like the alliteration), but I have a feeling I’m probably the only owner of such a bike who experiences anything close to pride of ownership.
Anyway, as I drew closer to home the sun sank deeper behind the Palisades:
Summer may have just begun, but as always it’ll be over before we know it, and once we hit Labor Day we zip up our jerseys for the high-speed descent into the holiday season. So I guess what I’m saying is Merry Christmas.
And now, I’m pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you’re right you’ll know it, and if you’re wrong you’ll see an important PSA.
Thanks very much for reading, enjoy your weekend, and I’ll see you back here on Tuesday. That’s Tuesday, not Monday. Monday’s a holiday.
–Tan Tenovo, a.k.a. Wildcat Rock Machine, a.k.a. RTMS, etc.
1. Nobody can “force” you into traffic by blocking a bike lane. Like choosing to wear an acrylic shirt with a bold pattern, or strapping a plastic mixing bowl on your head, or growing a groovy mustache, it’s ultimately up to you.
2. Why is he wearing a bicycle helmet?
- His vehicle has pedals
- He’s grappling with the Cone of Smugness
- It goes great with the vest
- All of the above
3. Holy shit, it’s for sale! How much to own “Just Kidding?”
4. Who is that masked man?
5. Pro cyclist Antonio Tiberi was fired by team Trek-Segafredo for:
- Blood doping
- Motor doping
- Putting chili powder in a teammate’s chamois as a practical joke
- Shooting a cat
6. “Geraint” is incorrect. It’s actually “Gerisn’t,” which is a diminutive version of “Gerisnot.”
[At least fifty bucks.]
7. Finally! A $50 __________:
***Special Ursus-Themed Bonus Video!***
Great, one more thing to worry about.