Firstly, I’ve got a new column in the Outsides, and it’s about bicycle licensing:
Well, I am very dumb, so the headline checks out.
Secondly, I was riding down the West Side Greenway yesterday morning, cursing to myself about all the GODDAMNED ELECTRIC MOTORCYCLES, when I came across this scene on the Henry Hudson Parkway:
I don’t know what happened, but it was certainly an impressive effort:
It also put the mildly annoying behavior of electric motorcyclists in perspective:
But we humans have short memories, and I was soon back to cursing them again.
I also came across the aftermath of what appeared to be a Citi Biker-on-pedestrian collision. Please note I did not stop to interrogate everyone so I don’t know what happened, but the young person I’m assuming was the Citi Biker was helping the elderly person I’m assuming was the pedestrian tend to some facial wounds. The location of the apparent collision was a crosswalk in a bike lane–one where I regularly watch riders run the light while people are trying to cross.
Now, again, I don’t know what happened, so my idle speculation is worth even less than my typical bloviations. Nevertheless, if this Citi Biker did indeed take out this elderly pedestrian, it’s hardly surprising–since, as I say, I see near-misses of this variety all the time. And even if the light was in the Citi Biker’s favor, that’s no excuse, since you shouldn’t be riding so fast in the city that you can’t avoid taking out a so-called “jaywalker,” especially in a crosswalk, and especially especially in a part of the city that’s absolutely packed with pedestrians. Indeed, I’ve ridden through this particular neighborhood many, many times over the years, both pre-and post-bike lane, and over the course of its transformation I was often dismayed to see bicyclists barking imperiously at pedestrians–often elderly ones who had no doubt been plowing the same furrow well before the offending bicyclists were born.
Does all of this mean we shouldn’t have bike lanes and that bicyclists should be licensed? Of course not. But it does mean plenty of people who ride bicycles are idiots who could use a smack in the head. (If the idea of corporal punishment of bicyclists troubles you, it really shouldn’t. After all, they’ll be fine just as long as they’re wearing helments, right?)
Thirdly…well there is no third thing, but fourthly, further to yesterday’s post, I ended up giving away not one but two pairs of blinky pedals. This is because I meant to give the pedals to the first person who responded, but I accidentally gave them to someone who responded later, and I didn’t want to rescind them, so Redshift were kind enough to cover my ass and will give me another pair of pedals. Meanwhile, I recently realized that in addition to pedals Redshift had also sent me a pair of Arclight Light Modules awhile back, which I had occasion to use yesterday evening:
What’s great about them is that the brackets mount in like two seconds using the supplied rubber straps, and they’re the same lights as the ones in the pedals, meaning they pop right in and out, light up red or white depending on position, and turn on and off automatically. However, I do wonder if perhaps they’re antisocially bright when mounted on the handlebar, though of course I have no way of knowing this from my position in the saddle:
I’d have pointed it down out of consideration but my brake cable was in the way. In fact, as I was riding I passed Esteemed Commenter Leroy, and he did not seem to notice me. This may have been because he was distracted, or because I had blinded him with my Arclight.
That aside, they were extremely convenient, and the bracket also comes with a spacer, so next time I use them I’ll play with that and set up the front light so it’s not pointed directly at oncoming traffic:
All of this is to say I was the second-brightest thing in the firmament after this crazy moon-planet thing that was going on:
And now, fifthly, I’m pleased to present you with a quiz. Study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you’re right you will receive validation, and if you’re wrong you’ll see the horrifically dystopian future of cycling.
Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and may your bike burn with the brightness of a thousand suns.
1) Finally! SRAM has revolutionized the hated rear derailleur and fixed bikes forever by:
- I dunno, something with the mounting bolt?
- There’s like, a new thing where the old thing went?
- It’s like totally more ZZZzzz…
- All of the above
2) So…it’s a Softride?
3) Gumby’s sidekick horse was called:
4) What bridge is this?
- The Sydney Harbor Bridge
- The Sydney Harbour Bridge
- The Hell Gate Bridge
- Tilikum Crossing, Bridge of the People
[Steel is real…but let’s put a bouncy schlong on it anyway.]
5) How much for this fine specimen?
6) How much for this fine specimen?
- $44,999 (It’s Kestrel 4000 serial #00001, signed by Brent Trimble)
- They’ll pay you to take it
7) This new bike parking facility in Amsterdam is located:
***Special Future Of The Drivetrain-Themed Bonus Video***
Love the wind turbines. You know what’s even more energy efficient? A bicycle drivetrain that requires no charging at all.