Helmets: Foaming At The Head!

Recently, Terry Barentsen and I collaborated on a video to promote the TD Five Boro Bike Tour. In that video, I ride in traffic without a helmet, which made the Tour organization uncomfortable. I have absolutely no problem with that–it’s their event, and it’s their right to expect a video they’ve commissioned to conform to their sensibilities. I’m not complaining, or criticizing, or accusing them of being uptight, or anything. Believe me. I’m also planning to ride the Tour this year, and will happily abide by the helmet requirement…at least while people are looking.

At the same time, I was a little surprised my helmetless antics even registered, especially given some of the hair-raising, sphincter-puckering riding Terry has documented over the years. Therefore, since the camera was still warm and the subject was fresh in my mind, I thought it would be fun to do a video about my feelings on bicycle helmets, and officially go on the YouTube record as an antisocial maniac with a death wish. Fortunately, Terry agreed, probably because my lethargic riding style causes him little to no physical exertion and he needed a rest day. So here it is:

To my credit, I did not go off on a tangent about how bicycle helmets are probably responsible for my baldness:

Or about how they’re sexist and racist:

Hey, don’t look at me, look at Robotic Hair Loss of Long Island, whose SEO strategies mean that they’re the first result that comes up when you google “EPS foam and baldness.”

(And no, I don’t really believe helmets are responsible for my baldness. I know it’s a combination of my maternal grandfather and my unusually powerful brainwaves.)

Meanwhile, searching “EPS foam and impotence” is more of a mixed bag:

I should probably log off for the rest of the day.

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