As the snow fell this morning I took the opportunity to do some maintenance on my Fender Bike:

My intent was simply to install the new and much-needed brake pads I’d just received:

So I headed to the basement and got to work:

I recently decided to start wearing latex gloves when working on my bikes, partly because my hands are always grimy for days afterwards, and partly because I suddenly started worrying that all these lubes and solvents might be leaching into my bloodstream and brain.
Brake pads are of course a pretty simple affair, but invariably one things leads to another. For example, I noticed the cable adjuster was immobile, probably because nobody had used it regularly:

So I took the opportunity to free it up again:

Once I got all the pads on I leaned over the cockpit to check the operation and pad alignment of the front brake, which is when this happened:

I promise that image will haunt your dreams forever.
At this point I should have cashed in my chips, but instead I figured I’d try to get rid of the little bit of play I’d been noticing in the rear hub. So I removed the axle:

Which revealed the hub was in need of cleaning and greasing:

So I repurposed the packages the brake pads had come in to hold the ball bearings:

Then, remembering the care package I’d received from Dumonde Tech, I drizzled some of this stuff into the freehub area in hopes that it would work its way in there:

Next, I degreased the bearings and races:

After that, I smeared them all with this stuff:

Which looks dangerously like caramel:

Once I was done I put everything back together, and I’m pleased to report that the play is not only still there, but it’s possibly worse. I probably should have removed the cassette and seen if there was anything else going on, but I’d already done more than I meant to and I was running out of time.
At least it’s now full of caramel-y goodness.
As for the gloves, sadly there was some breakage at the fingertips:

Now my bike’s going to get pregnant.