I really hate to get ahead of myself because I know I’ll jinx things and send us spiraling back into our arctic nightmare, but there are hints of spring in the air and goddamn it feels good. Yesterday evening I even took the kids out to Orchard Beach, which seemed downright otherworldly as the sun went down:
Ignore the derelict boat and it looks like an image from that Perseverance rover. (Mars has trees and water, right? Of course it does.)
Then, this morning, I headed out for a ride, during which I encountered only one (1) discarded acoustic guitar:
It’s always sad when someone abandons their dreams, but I suppose it’s also possible someone used the guitar to brain a cyclist. That’s why you should always wear your helmet: you never know when you’ll run afoul of a disgruntled aspiring folk musician.
Unless you’re looking to wind up axle-deep in mud you don’t even attempt to ride the trails in these conditions, so I headed over the
Tappan Zee Mario Cuomo Bridge for a good old-fashioned road ride:
My route took me over to Rockland County and in the general direction of the landscape you see in the distance:
As much as I love my Milwaukee [cue stock photo]…:
…it felt good to be on a bike that is not only considerably lighter, but that has also not been subjected to a constant barrage of slush and salt, and therefore does not require like 75 foot-pounds of torque just to shift into the big ring:
Though there’s still plenty of salt and snow run-off out there, which is why I’m sticking to plastic:
By the way, after uploading that photo, I was certain I spotted a crack:
In fact I was so certain I went ALL THE WAY DOWNSTAIRS to inspect the bike in person…and of course there was no crack, it was merely a trick of the light. I think at this point I’m one of only a small handful of crabon-O-phobes who remain convinced the material is constantly waiting to fail without warning, despite the fact that it’s 2021, carbon has been the default performance frame material for at least the past 20 years, and countless people flog the things day in and day out for years on end without incident. And yet here I am, still eyeing them warily, like the candy store proprietor when the local ne’er-do-wells are browsing the licorice. (Crabon frames do look kinda like licorice, don’t they?)
Anyway, as a semi-professional blogger and part-time crabon fred sled pilot I’d be remiss if I didn’t talk about stuff you can buy, and I’m officially now palping Donnelly LCV tires on two (2) of my skinny-tire bikes:
I guess I’m becoming one of those people.
Also, awhile back I received an Elemnt Bolt, or ELEMNT BOLT, or however it’s supposed to be rendered, and I continue to use it on both my plastic bike and my Litespeed:
I’d love to say I regularly use its GPS functionality to guide me on all-day gravel “epics,” but as the father of seventeen (17) children I’m not covering much new ground these days, and therefore don’t get to make much use of the navigation functions. (I really should bring it with me when I head upstate on vacations.) However, it does work well with Strava, and it also keeps me connected by showing notifications from my phone, which is particularly important because when you’re the father of seventeen (17) children you are not allowed to miss texts under any circumstances:
See that? Everything’s right there in my face. Between this and my smartwatch, I’m now reachable at all times. However, the downside of being this reachable is that if you don’t reply immediately everyone just assumes you are dead, whereas in the old days they’d at least wait until sundown to start digging your grave.
Finally, what kind of blogger would I be if I didn’t molest you with a
Tappan Zee Mario Cuomo Bridge “selfie?” Last time I looked like a confused ape, and this time I just looked like an asshole who can’t stand up because he’s trapped in a Plexiglass box:
This is fitting, because on the spectrum of annoying vocations, bike blogger is more or less adjacent to mime.