Worst Earth Day Ever

Apparently it’s Earth Day:

Huh, the Earth is Jewish? How about that…

(That is a yarmulke on its head, right?)

Anyway, over the past few weeks a lot of people and news outlets have pointed out how much cleaner the air is now:

I know we’re supposed to find inspiration in this, and I do hope we take advantage of this temporary cessation in traffic to really think about how we prioritize our streets, but given the circumstances this just feels like complimenting a cancer patient on their recent weight loss.

Here in New York we’re also supposed to be in love with Governor Cuomo, but the guy was already drunk with power even before this all started, and increasingly his tendency to alternate between being jocular and being condescending is not sitting well with me:

This strikes me as a rather glib response. His own brother got this illness, and not only is he all better now, but he worked (and presumably received a paycheck) the whole time.

Speaking of Chris Cuomo, he recently made a big show of emerging from his basement, but he also had a run-in with a “jackass loser fat-tire biker” while he was pretending to quarantine:

Chris Cuomo launched into a tirade on his SiriusXM show Monday night about how he didn’t like what he did for a living anymore — and ranted about a confrontation he had with a bike rider outside his property Easter Sunday, when the coronavirus-infected TV star was hanging out with his family.

Here’s the fat-tire biker’s side of it:

The 65-year-old longtime resident said he was just out for a bike ride before Easter dinner when he spotted who he thought was Chris Cuomo on property he says the CNN anchor bought in East Hampton last year. The acreage is still being developed; a steel frame for its future house is all that’s up at the moment, David said.

David said Cuomo was with his wife, another woman and three kids who were playing around on the property.

The resident said he stopped and sat on his bike “well over a hundred feet” from the property.

“I just looked and said, ‘Is that Chris Cuomo? Isn’t he supposed to be quarantined?’”

So he was only minding his own business…until he wasn’t:

David said the woman who looked like Cuomo’s wife came over to him and said, “May I help you?”

He said he replied, “I’m riding my bike” — then started asking why Cuomo was there out of quarantine and not social-distancing from the group.

He said Cuomo then started toward him, coming to within about 40 feet.

“He said, ‘Who the hell are you?! I can do what I want!’” David said. “He just ranted, screaming, ‘I’ll find out who you are!’

“I said to him, ‘Your brother is the coronavirus czar, and you’re not even following his rules — unnecessary travel,’” the resident said.

“He just began to boil more.

“He said, ‘This is not the end of this. You’ll deal with this later. We will meet again.’ If that’s not a threat, I don’t know what is,” David said.

So basically they’re both jackasses. (Wow, two jackasses arguing in East Hampton, what are the odds?) If it wasn’t the quarantine no doubt they’d be arguing about non-contextual architecture or improper lawn trimming disposal. As is the case with so many of the pandemic-related arguments that are raging these days, the illness itself is largely incidental. Indeed, the only question that matters is WHAT PRESSURE WAS THE FAT-TIRE BIKER RUNNING???

In any case, as the numbers here in New York continue to improve, at the very least the governor owes these desperate people a less sanctimonious response. Perhaps they’d get better results if they were demanding the right to go golfing and boating:

Golf courses had appealed Cuomo’s initial shutdown order March 20 and won a waiver. Many courses that reopened operated for two weeks before a subsequent order closed them. But that ban ended with the state’s Friday amendments.

Don’t get me wrong, as somebody who’s been (barely) clinging to sanity by cycling every day I have no problem whatsoever with people golfing and boating, but I also can’t help noting that Cuomo didn’t respond to these appeals by invoking the specter of death, and if I were the cynical type I might even wonder aloud as to the preferred leisure activities of some of his biggest donors.

But he does wish us Happy Earth Day, so there is that:

Finally opening that long-delayed bike path on the Tappan Zee Mario Cuomo Bridge would be a fantastic present.

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