As spring envelops us in a sneeze-inducing cloud of fertility, the hibernating animals emerge from their hidey-holes, and so too do the bicycles that have lay dormant over the course of the long, dark winter:
First came GRVL LNCHNG, then it was the GRVL RDNG…
…so I suppose single-speed gravel reading SSGR was inevitable:
It was so warm I didn’t even need my Woolen Reading Gloves:
I bet I could even have fit a sandwich in there too, thereby combining GRVL LNCHNG and GRVL RDNG, but one shouldn’t fly too close to the sun, lest one singe one’s wings, or at least one’s beard. Anyway, with lugged head tubes as far as the eye could see I it was in Retrogrouch Heaven:
Oh, and in case you’re wondering, the answer is yes, it is technically possible to gravel read while gravel riding, but I wouldn’t recommend it:
[Trained professional, do not attempt.]
Anyway, I hadn’t been on the Roaduno for awhile, and so as soon as I got back on it my Singlespeed Delusion Syndrome (SDS) began to flare up:
SDS is characterized by sudden-onset feelings of elation which sufferers often misinterpret as a profound spiritual revelation that this is the only bike they’ll ever need. Victims then make a resolution to get rid of all their other bicycles, renounce multi-speed gearing in all its forms, and commit fully to a singlespeed lifestyle forever.
This wouldn’t be so dangerous in itself, but unfortunately after a period of time (anywhere from several days to several years) the disorder moves into a second phase in which the victims realize, “You know, I really do love this bike. But you know what would make it even better? Gears!” This is a real problem if the singlespeed to which the victim has committed is unable to accept them, but fortunately the Roaduno has been designed with the SDS sufferer in mind, and can be easily geared (albeit frontally) at minimal expense:
In the year and a half I’ve had this bicycle, my own SDS has come full circle at least once. When ordered as a complete bicycle, it comes with two chainrings mounted but is set up as a singlespeed, and at first that’s how I rode it:
But I soon unlocked the inner ring by adding a shifter, front derailleur, and rear-derailleur-as-chain-tensioner:
I also added drop bars, because apparently that’s what I do to every bike:
Anyway, the two-speed singlespeed setup worked so well it was only a matter of time before I changed the double crank for a triple:
I now had a big gear for the flats, a medium gear for the rolling hills, and a low gear for the real climbs, and at this point I began to think that perhaps I’d arrived at the perfect drivetrain. More than that, I began to suspect I’d attained spiritual enlightenment with my three-speed singlespeed, a Holy Trinity of Gearing with different numbers of teeth yet all sharing the same divine spirit. Utterly fulfilled, I needed nothing more from this bike or from any other bike…yet I soon turned it back into a singlespeed anyway.
And here we are:
[Qui si parla Bee-oh-pa-chay]
If a three-speed singlespeed is The Holy Trinity of Gearing, than a Biopace singlespeed is some weird pagan god nobody worships anymore except the sorts of people with too many bumper stickers and too many cats who read fantasy novels and practice polyamory.
The point of all this is that the Roaduno is currently singlespeed perfection…
…which means I’ll be putting another chainring and a front derailleur on there again in a matter of days.
But such is the allure of the singlespeed. Not only is it fun to ride and easy to tinker with, but it also holds the promise of escape from the bicycle industry merry-go-round once and for all. I mean who doesn’t read about yet another wheel size and want to become a renunciate?
Start saving up now, because you’ve got exactly one year:
At this point, Merida realised that it had to do something with the new size. It is now developing 32in cross-country mountain and gravel bikes, and Seitz stated it will become the new standard for performance riding in these disciplines in “basically one year” from now, when there are enough available parts on the market.
So much for my once-current Industry Standard Gravelling Appliance…