So what’s threatening to ruin pro cycling this week? Doping? Protests? Weird rules about handlebar width and gear ratios? No, it’s gambling:
That would be a real shame, seeing as how far the sport has come:
UCI president David Lappartient told Het Laatste Nieuws raised the specter of illegal betting in cycling in an earlier interview.
“Sports betting is like an iceberg,” he said. “Ninety percent of the bets are illegal and happen below the waterline,” Lapparient told HLN. “That’s how it is in football, tennis and handball. I do not want to get to a day when cycling, once we have climbed out of the valley of doping, and the fight against mechanical fraud has been successfully carried out, is undermined by corruption and gambling scandals.”
Riiight.
They’ve climbed out of the valley of doping all right–and at record speeds!
Nothing suspicious about that at all.
As for gambling on cycling, that’s a sure sign you have a real problem, like when drunks start breaking thermometers open for the alcohol. Outside of Belgium, I’d imagine most people only start betting on cycling after they get banned from the dog track. Even so, I wouldn’t worry too much about it ruining cycling, because we all know it’s the carbon fiber that did that.
In fact, it could be that gambling is the one thing that would save cycling. Keirin is a form of bicycle racing that exists entirely so people can bet on it, and it’s the only discipline left in which the racers still use real bicycles:
Coincidence? I think not. Maybe we need to put the yakuza in charge of the UCI. By the way, I asked a popular search engine “Is keirin fixed?” and I got the following answer:
There you go, the fix is in.
Speaking of old-fashioned equipment, for the second week in a row I flouted tradition by spending “Wooded Wednesday” on the pavement instead of the dirt:
Though I did make a brief foray into gravel territory:
I realize it’s a stretch to call that gravel, but my understanding of the word is that it now refers to anything that’s not a paved road or a mountain bike trail. Whatever it was I felt like I was floating over it on those 30mm tubulars. I was also wearing the very latest in cycling footwear technology:
You don’t even need to change your shoes to go bowling afterwards:
But while I may enjoy L’Eroica-themed cosplay I’m also still open to trying new things–barely open, like that steamed mussel you’re not sure you should eat, but roll the dice on nonetheless. In fact, remember I had that garvel-type frame I was looking to sell?
Well, since then I’ve received nary a nibble, and so I wondered if maybe I’d have better luck if it were a complete bike. Plus, I figured the process of putting it together would be a fun rainy day project, whilst at the same time broadening my horizons a bit–but not too much, since this will still be a fully mechanical bike, including the brakes. And to that end, I requisitioned some stuff, including this, much to the delight of the cat:
It’s a Microshift Sword Black mini-group consisting of the shrakes (I dislike the term “brifter” so I’m hoping I can make shrake catch on):
[Well, technically one shrake and one brake lever, since it’s for a single ring setup.]
Which look like Cthulhu:
The derailleur:
Which looks like a sculpture from “Beetlejuice” that might come alive at any moment and start inch-worming itself across the floor:
And the cassette, which is the first thing I’d grab to defend myself in the event of a home invasion:
It will probably be awhile before I get this thing together, but I’ll keep you posted.