Good morning!
Bike lanes, tickets, but drivers, blah blah blah…
Look, what do you want from me? It’s getting really hard to care about any of this anymore. In fact I guarantee we’ll be seeing exactly the same story in 100 years, except we’ll be watching it on ocular implants instead of TVs, laptops, and smartphones, and the quotes will be more like this:
“Raise your hand if you’ve almost been mowed down by one of these flying cyber space bikes”
“X36920, Transportation Alternatives’ humanoid AI presence, assumed the reassuring shape of an anthropomorphic koala to explain that the real problem is atomic-powered macro-SUVs, and what’s needed are more maglev bike lanes and not criminal summonses.”
And so forth.
By the way, I put “X36920, Transportation Alternatives’ humanoid AI presence, assuming the reassuring shape of an anthropomorphic koala to explain that the real problem is atomic-powered macro-SUVs, and that what’s needed are more maglev bike lanes and not criminal summonses,” and here’s what I got:
That’s actually pretty good, and it reassures me that I can also trust the AI with my medical diagnoses, retirement account management, and vacation planning.
Speaking of The Bike Lane Story That Never Ends, here’s a story all the way from our 51st state:
I do think it’s worth nothing that the futuristic moving picture that accompanies the headline shows two people using the bike lane (not including whoever’s doing the filming). One of them is riding some sort of motor scooter, and the other is riding a bicycle and towing a trailer. Both the scooterist and the person doing the filming pass a turning vehicle on the right:
I’m not sure why the designers of bike lanes are so determined to put people into this kind of situation. But, you know, there is a sign telling people to yield, so nothing bad can happen:
Certainly this is the most thrilling urban riding footage to come out of the Great White North since “Murder of Couriers,” the “Citizen Kane” of Canadian bike messenger film:
That film of course gave us one of the greatest quotes ever uttered in the history of cinema:
Sometimes you just clear out and you’re just like, “Whoah,” you know, “I almost got hit by four different buses and I punched a jaywalker and almost shit my pants.”
Rosebud schmosebud.
As for the article itself, the traffic situation in Toronto is truly horrific, and this tragic example really hit home:
Toronto’s chronic traffic snarls can come as an unwelcome surprise to some visitors. In February, the Carolina Hurricanes hockey team had to abandon a ride because of traffic and walk the remaining blocks to a downtown arena — not the first time professional athletes have had to do that.
Professional athletes had to walk?!? Oh the humanity! Maybe next time they should take off their skates first.
And finally, speaking of the same old story over and over again, it’s…another gravel bike:
But this one’s designed for real gravel, not that fake stuff:
‘We wanted to create a product intended for fast gravel use on real gravel, like white roads, not singletrack,’ says Aghito. ‘I would recommend the King Zydeco 2 to a rider who likes to compete, more than the rider who is an adventurer.’
It’s also aero, because Cinelli says it is:
Cinelli claims the tube shapes of the King Zydeco 2 are competitively aerodynamic, although they haven’t been developed in a wind-tunnel. The down tube and seat tube are suitably bladed, and Cinelli has specced a proprietary Allroad D-shaped seatpost, meaning it’s the only one compatible with the frame. Other nods to aerodynamics include a one-piece aero cockpit with fully internal cabling.
In engineering jargon, an “Italian wind tunnel” is just a guy smoking a cigarette whilst staring critically at the bike:
[“Dat’s a-notta aero, you gotta make it more pointier!”]
In addition to being aero, the new Cinelli gravel bike feels like a road bike:
Being a traditional Italian brand, Cinelli’s frame geometry tends to be on the racy side, and the King Zydeco 2 is no different. Aghito says, ‘The feeling you have is like riding a road bike. You are in a position where you can push, you can transfer a lot of power on the rear wheel.’
So basically it’s a road bike.
Glad we straightened that out.