If you’re a cyclist, the first thing you check when you wake up* is the weather. This morning I did just that and saw it was eight degrees and partly cloudy:
*[The first thing you check that’s not a part of your body, anyway.]
If you live in one of those commonist countries that uses the metrical system this would indicate fine cycling conditions indeed, but here in West Greenland we measure temperature in American Freedom Degrees™ the way God intended, which means it’s what meteorologists call “cold as fuck”–though this particular rider would no doubt beg to differ:
[“I don’t ride when it’s above five degrees because I don’t want to risk heatstroke.”]
Additionally, we got snow earlier this week, and while it’s no New Orleans there’s still a fair amount of it left:
Incidentally, when this latest bit of snow arrived of course we went sledding, and I officially deployed The Rivendell Of Snowboards:
Or is it the Fixie of Snowboards? I know nothing about snowboarding or any other alpine sport so I don’t know which facile analogy is more apt in this case.
Either way, I acquired this thing “for the kids” but of course I hogged it the whole time, and I fell off of it repeatedly until I kind-of-sort-of got the hang of it. And lest you think there’s no place to properly utilize a snowboard around these parts, I’ll have you know that the Bronx is the Switzerland of New York City, and in like the 1960s Van Cortlandt Park even had an actual ski area with artificial snow and a tow rope and everything:
[Image via here.]
I don’t know exactly where in the park the ski area was, but I suspect it must have been in the spot where we now go sledding–and if you want to know where that is well I’m sorry, I’m afraid I can’t tell you.
Anyway, despite the cold I did head out for a short trail ride on the All Bets Are Off Bike:
I briefly considered bringing the Rivendell of Snowboards with me and sneaking in a few runs while I was at it, but I was still sore from all those falls earlier in the week, and I figured I probably shouldn’t tempt fate. The ride turned out to be rather pleasant, as the hikers had tamped down all the snow, the trees kept me safe from the wind, and the Jones was sure-footed as always. At this time of the year an hour in the woods is all you need, and I feel fortunate to live here in the Alps of New York City where such a thing is possible without venturing more than a few minutes from home.
Meanwhile, in the Netherlands, researchers are working hard to make cycling safer:
Sure, “Dutch researcher” may sound like an oxymoron–like “three-speed singlespeed” or “Bronx skiing”–but while the Dutch may not have invented anything since their eponymous oven**, they are pretty handy with bikes:
Wow, that is the most naive and idealistic description of driver behavior I’ve ever heard:
Only someone from the Netherlands could possibly think that drivers are predictable:
Or that all the technology in the world could possibly help them “plan a route around” cyclists:
Yeah, right:
Still, it’s better than what we’ve come up with:
Yes, there’s no problem that can’t be solved with more helmets:
“Small dent,” really? Is that the metaphor you’re going with?
Fortunately though there’s also an education component, though it mostly consists of…telling people to wear helmets:
If safety were helmets, Americans would ride.
**According to the Internet, the Dutch have invented the following, though I’m calling BS on capitalism and the carrot:
