Further to yesterday’s post, consider the following quote from the recent New Yorker article about Grant Petersen:
“Bikes are turning ugly,” Petersen recently wrote. “I personally have more respect, tons of respect, for somebody who rides around town, to work, for shopping, and for fun, than somebody who does front-flips on handrails with a fifty-foot dropoff on one side.”
What? Ridiculous!!! Cycling isn’t about fun or about usefulness, it’s about performing death-defying stunts on bicycles of limited utility in order to promote overpriced clothing and overcaffeinated swill at the same time:
Here’s the video:
Eh, frankly when it comes to action-packed videos that combine bikes and trains I prefer ones that feature Bromptons:
Now that’s what I call suspense.
Sometimes you screw the watermelon:
And other times it screws you.
Speaking of everyday cycling, the smuggies are really pushing the idea that e-bike share trips need to be cheaper, and now a city councilmember is introducing a bill that would cap the cost of an e-Citi Bike trip:
I’m all for Citi Bike, and it’s a good thing that people have the option to choose electric ones, but I have not changed my opinion, which is that NOBODY OWES YOU A CHEAP RIDE ON A GODDAMN E-CITI BIKE. Who the hell cares what they cost? E-Citi Bikes didn’t even exist until about six years ago. Now suddenly they’re a basic human right and we need a law so that they cost the same as the subway? Well, here’s what the councilperson has to say:
I promise you that absolutely nobody in New York City is making their major life decisions based entirely on Citi Bikes, electric or otherwise, though I do suspect Lincoln Restler is confusing the way normal people live with the comic subplots of ’90s sitcoms:
I also promise you that they are not replacing car trips in any meaningful way:
In fact, ironically, e-Citi Bikes are causing more traffic because they require a fleet of drivers to service them:
Of course in Restler’s sitcom universe capping the price of Citi Bike will magically result in the costly construction of a vast underground electrical system that will replace the van fleet. This magic is called “public investment,” and it will fix everything. Don’t believe it? Just look at what great shape the MTA is in! It’s doing so wonderfully these same smuggies are telling us that it can’t function without congestion pricing:
I get that it’s fashionable to believe in a future in which drivers paradoxically abandon their cars and yet somehow fund a motor vehicle-free transportation utopia with their tolls, but I’m beginning to wonder if the relative lack of public funding the system receives is the only thing that’s saving it.
In the meantime, if you’re looking for a cheap e-Citi Bike just come to the Bronx and help yourself, they’re absolutely everywhere:
Just make sure to bring a spoke wrench.
Speaking of combining shopping and fun, I did just that yesterday, and on one of Old Man Petersen’s bikes to boot:
Riding the trails in a populous area often requires you to share the trail with people who are walking dogs:
Or, less often, birds:
I suppose he just wants to give it some fresh air, but if anything it seems needlessly cruel, like marching a prisoner through the town square:
Sure, sometimes when I’m riding a bike in this town I too feel like a caged bird:
But at least it’s easy to park.