The Tour de France is one of the most celebrated sporting events in the world--but this is still cycling, the Arby's of sports, and so even in 2026 the riders spend the night in disgusting hotels: Fortunately, teams have access to cutting-edge sleep technology such as "smart mattress cover systems:" Some teams bring their own... Continue Reading →

The world is rapidly becoming one which I no longer recognize. Even the summer bugs are different: While it may look like the gravel version of a ladybug, that's a spotted lanternfly in the "nymph late stage," according to this chart: In cycling life cycle stages, that corresponds to: "Nymph early stage" -- Fixie, sneakers... Continue Reading →

I have the good fortune of being wealthier than I ever imagined. In bicycles. Granted, some of that is inherited wealth: But work is tacky, and the truly rich know that this form of enrichment is the most satisfying. Anyway, given my privileged position, the last thing I need is another bicycle--though how can I... Continue Reading →

Between the Whirled Cup and the Annual Touring of the France there is much to consume the attention of the international sports (or "commie sports" as we call them here) enthusiast, and while as usual I've managed to miss most of the latter event thus far, I did happen to note this story: Firstly, Huub... Continue Reading →

Yesterday I mentioned building illegal mountain bike trails, but you know what's really dumb? Putting graffiti on a rock: Seriously, even for a teenager that's stupid. Speaking of being stupid, yesterday's ride reminded me that I shouldn't turn the Farbman into a Roadini because...I already have a Roadini: And a fine bicycle it is, too:... Continue Reading →

As an inveterate snark purveyor who has made a lifestyle of cutting down others in order to compensate for my own mediocrity, even I enjoyed this interview with Peter Sagan, and despite my best efforts I can't help being happy for him after reading it: Only in his mid-30s, he's already retired, having built a... Continue Reading →

Further to yesterday's post, once I start poking around in the past I can't stop, and as I was perusing old articles I began to wonder about the origins of the e-bike. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RF34Z95-Nco Well, the earliest mention I found was from November 12th, 1882, though that was an e-trike: And more interesting than the "electro-motor"... Continue Reading →

As our ears still resonate from the celebratory explosions that marked our great nation's 250th birthday, let us also pay tribute to that other enduring symbol of freedom: the velocipede. As a Cervino owner I am always heartened to see an old Nishiki still in regular service: And as a vintage bonded Trek enthusiast I... Continue Reading →

Well, the Mother of All Hyundai Sales Events is officially upon us! That's right, we're turning 250 this weekend, and while this country may not be perfect, I'm still both grateful and proud to call it home on this, our semisasquatchennial: That's because for all our problems we have something the rest of the world... Continue Reading →

Heat waves, earthquakes, war, rampant JCPenney closures... There's no shortage of things to be anxious about in this world. However, you can take solace in the fact that it's never been a better... [wait for it] ...TIME to be a Bicycle Fred and a Horology Fred trapped in the same body: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uc5QMpgSEOs First the million... Continue Reading →