Back in June 13th, 2007, my life changed forever. Bored at my job and desperate for change, I started a smartass bike blog. People liked it, and I haven't shut up since. And here we are. The Internet has changed a lot since those days. Now, blogs are hopelessly old-fashioned, and today people consume their... Continue Reading →
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Never Trust Anything That’s Too Clean
This past Saturday was springlike, but winter fought back on Sunday with cold and even a little snow, and so I stuck to my side of the river: And to a more voluminously-tired bicycle with flat pedals: Though I'm sorry to report I was forced to dispense with the Brooks Cambium saddle, which was one... Continue Reading →
My Race Is Run
In these turbulent times the headlines may be frightening, but sometimes regime change is exactly what the world needs: With the old mayo finally toppled and a new recipe recipe taking its place I look forward to a new era of peace and prosperity in the Kingdom of Burgers. Meanwhile, ice still sits atop the... Continue Reading →
All Aboard The Gravel Express!
Is there a sweeter phrase in the English language than "gravel spill?" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3PlCBaCuIM Get there while you can! I'm not sure if traffic is backed up like that because all the local gravelistas have descended upon it, or simply because the motorists aren't using appropriate gravel vehicles: Now there's a car that was way ahead... Continue Reading →
E-Assist: Classist or Ass-ist?
Contrary to popular belief, the whiniest of all cyclists is not the mountain biker: [A disconcerting image of an irate mountain biker generated for an earlier post using Artificial Intelligence, which for some reason saw it fit to give him an extra row of teeth] Oh sure, the idea of having to pedal up a... Continue Reading →
Flipping Your Lid
Further to yesterday's post, your cycling superiors, who have been testing bikes for 25 years and know much more than you do, have abandoned the laughably obsolete saddle pack in favor of the clearly-superior-in-every-way downtube storage compartment: It hardly bears repeating at this point that if you're not riding a plastic bike with a glove... Continue Reading →
The Elephant Trunk Skid In The Room
If you're new to bikes, the world of cycling can be intimidating. Which equipment should I choose? What clothes should I wear? How should I set up my bike, and where should I ride it? It's enough to make you declare, "Fuck cycling, I'm taking a bath:" Fortunately, the cycling media is full of experts,... Continue Reading →
Get Your Wheels Out Of The Gutter
Lovely weather we're having: To paraphrase The Great Man, it ain't fit out there for Fred or beast, and it's so bad that Mayor Mam-commie even has us under a TRAVEL BAN: Not like I actually plan to leave the house, mind you, but it's the idea of the thing. See, I've got an SUV,... Continue Reading →
Before Enlightenment, Lease Hyundai. After Enlightenment, Lease Hyundai.
Monday is Presidents (Presidents'? ... President's? ... Presidence? ...) Day. Do you know what that means? Well, for one thing, it means there's never been a better time to finance or lease that new Hyundai you've had your eye on: For another, it means the schools will be closed all week for Midwinter Recess (Recess'?... Continue Reading →
So Many Revolutions So Little Time
Wow, people sure put a lot of thought into this contest! The spirit of GRVL is not only with us today but has always been with us, working in its mysterious ways. Was it with Fausto Coppi? It was. Was it with the badger? Of course. Was it with Andy Hampsten on the Gavia? So... Continue Reading →
700c-650b+32=$$$
Good morning. Ahem. [Removes slip of paper from pants pocket, unfurls...] Last week in the spirit of Jest, I curated a gravel contest. The entries poured in, But which one should win? I cannot decide which is best. Yeah, pretty bad, sorry. But what do you want from me? I never said I was a... Continue Reading →