It’s hot and the air is thick with the smoke of Canadian wildfires (as well as the usual smugness that wafts in from up there), so instead of doing anything interesting I’m just grabbing the closest Fred bike and sweating on it:
Did I mention it’s hot?
So hot in fact that there was a large snake basking on the path, which had vanished by the time I circled back to photograph it, though fortunately it did not end up in my drivetrain:
Apparently that’s “the world’s second most venomous snake:”
Eastern brown snakes are highly venomous and have been dubbed the world’s second most venomous snake. They are generally a medium-sized species found across eastern Australia in a wide stretch from northern Queensland to South Australia. Although brown snakes are the most common cause of fatal snake bites in the country, deaths by bites from any species of snake are rare.
So basically it’s the Jonas Vingegaard of snakes.
Anyway, the situation was obviously dire, and so they had to call in a Snake Frederica:
The snake catcher Sarah Mailey, who was called to the scene, said freeing the snake from the bike chain was highly challenging because its upper body remained completely free.
“Its head wasn’t in the chain so it was free to be able to strike her leg,” she said.
Unfortunately, individuals who can not only handle snakes but are also proficient in modern gravel drivetrains are quite rare, and so bystanders had to step in to help with that second part:
Mailey was eventually able to pin the snake’s head while bystanders assisted in disentangling the chain. Police also attended the scene at the request of paramedics to ensure public safety in the area.
The snake was euthanised due to injuries sustained in the ordeal, Mailey said.
Wait a minute.
So Australia mandates helments for all bicycle riders but doesn’t require internally geared hubs or, at the very least, quick links to protect its serpentine wildlife from rapacious derailleur systems?!?
Appalling.
Anyway, fortunately for the rider, the snake did not manage to get any venom in her when biting her, but if it had of course someone would have had to suck out the poison:
Just like Tour de France riders are sucking down lactate gels:
Hey, did somebody say lactate???
Apparently that jersey was ahead of its time.
Some speculate that drugs are the only reasonable explanation for Pogačar’s otherworldly performance, but perhaps he’s just lactating:
Secrecy fuels rumours, including that one Tour team has invested heavily for exclusive access to the ExoLactate Gel. It’s been mooted by some that the team in question are UAE Team Emirates-XRG, who reportedly tested it at the Tour de Suisse. There’s also grainy footage doing the rounds of Tadej Pogačar consuming a gel with similar packaging on the 2026 Tour’s Stage 6 descent of the Col du Tourmalet earlier this week, though that turned out to be an Enervit prototype.
Here’s a still from that grainy footage:
In any case, while some people are impressed by a bunch of professional athletes riding around France for three weeks, that’s nothing compared to riding from India to Sweden just to “get some:”
Here’s the preview for the film:
If only he’d had access to a proper gravel bike…