Heat waves, earthquakes, war, rampant JCPenney closures… There’s no shortage of things to be anxious about in this world. However, you can take solace in the fact that it’s never been a better…
[wait for it]
…TIME to be a Bicycle Fred and a Horology Fred trapped in the same body:
First the million dollar Colnago watch and now this? Thank goodness I have two wrists!
Plus, at just over Eight Thousand American Fun Tickets™ it’s practically free.
And what do we have here?
I do really like the color of the Coppi model, but I think I’ll keep my powder dry until the Rivendell watch comes out:
Just kidding!
Obviously that isn’t the Rivendell watch. Everybody knows the Rivendell watch will be low-normal like their new derailleur and the hands will move counter-clockwise. Duh.
Oh, and that sundial watch isn’t AI, it’s actually a thing on Amazon.
(Well, it probably is AI, but apparently you can buy it.)
Speaking of heat waves, it’s hot, yet I still headed to the forbidding Trails Behind The Mall yesterday:
That’s because I needed to bring THE CAR THAT I OWN to the mechanic again, and so I brought a bike with me so I could squeeze in a ride. And while this isn’t the old jalopy I was driving…
…this is the old jalopy I was riding:
The ride was as fun as it could be given the heat. The refurbished rear shock is also functioning well, and I even stopped to toe in the front brake pads, which seems to have taken care of that brake squeal you may have noticed the other day. Bike mechanics will often recommend you use a business card in order to do this:
You may wonder who the hell is still using business cards in 2026, though I suppose if you’re still using rim brakes you may also have business cards:
Alas, I didn’t have any business cars with me, since I generally don’t carry them while mountain biking, though it would be fun to stop people on the trail and hand them something like this:
That is of course AI, and it mostly ignored my prompt, which was this:
A fancy business card that says Tan Tenovo: Bon Vivant, Bicycle Blogger, and Horology Noob, with an etching of a gentleman on a pennyfarthing
Actually that was my second prompt; in the first prompt I told it to incorporate actor Rip Torn’s mugshot, but it refused, presumably for copyright reasons. Anyway, I don’t like that it thinks it knows better than me, and yet I do like the name “Henry Plumptre,” which is exactly the sort of moral quandary that makes this whole AI thing such an ethical minefield.
So no, I didn’t have a business card to toe in my brake pads. The other item you’ll hear people suggest is a credit card, but sadly mine was maxed out already thanks to the visit to the mechanic. Fortunately I have the perfect toe-inner with me on my keyring at all times, and I’ve used it before with great success, and that item is the key to my mailbox, which is just the right size and thickness for the job.
Being a city dweller is not without its challenges when it comes to mountain biking, and that’s saying nothing about how badly a letter carrier will mangle your mail to get it inside one of those tiny boxes:
But hey, if I lived in the country and I had one of these things instead I’d be screwed:
So the ride was good and the bike was good, though the brake squeal was soon replaced by a creak which I’m hoping is not the bottom bracket, because if it is I am completely horrified by the prospect of dealing with this:
I’m fairly intolerant when it comes to noisy bikes, and normally I’d start investigating as soon as I returned home, but in this case it was so damn hot I couldn’t even make myself care:
So I just hosed the sweat off of the bike and added it to the many things I’ll deal with when conditions are optimal, and by “optimal conditions” I mean having both an air conditioner and a beer at arm’s length.
All of this raises an important question:
Should I have used a gravel bike or a mountain bike?
Spoiler alert–if you want a gravel bike choose the gravel bike, and if you want a mountain bike choose the mountain bike:
So, what would we choose? For the road rider/XC rat turned gravel rider, we think the Vault is an uncompromising choice. It’s got the chops for the dirt, it’s at home on everything, and can still pull double duty as a cross rig or all-road raconteur. The same can be said of the LES SL, with the bonus that it’s a little more at home on traditional mountain bike terrain.
Wow.
So glad I read that.
I’d better stop now before I exceed my weekly dated pop culture reference quota.