Further to yesterday’s post, a reader asked why the fork on the latest testcycle…
…is different from the one on the Classic Cycle website:
Well, Paul was reading, and here’s your answer:
Someone asked in the comments why I didn’t leave the Marzocci fork on the bike. I wanted to spare you a collar bone break is the answer. The Marzocci fork was only 80mm of travel so the bike had you tipped over the extremely tight front end as a starting position….
I need you healthy to try out the next bike with the “game-changing” wheel size.
I assume that means I’ll be getting one of those old Cannondales with the 24-inch rear wheel:
Meanwhile, speaking of trials, I am one of the very few people in the cycling world brave enough to speak up about the pointlessness of ultra-endurance cycling, though certainly I feel differently about a woman attempting to break the men’s record for circumnavigating the Earth by bicycle, right?
Nah.
In fact, of all the ultra-endurance cycling feats people have cooked up since the invention of the velocipede, riding one around the world is probably the most pointless, for the simple reason that you can’t ride a bicycle around the world.
You know, because like 70% of the world is water, and nobody’s doing this on an amphibious bicycle:
Actually, maybe they are. But you know what? If they are don’t even tell me, I don’t wanna know and I don’t care.
But yes, sailing a boat around the world is a thing, and flying a plane around the world is a thing, but everything else is just foppish gallivanting:
None of this is to say I don’t wish her both luck and success in her journey, because I certainly do:
Wilcox, 39, circumnavigated the Earth in 108 days in 2024, setting the women’s record for quickest bike trip around the world. On Sunday, she plans to set out again from Chicago, and if all goes according to plan she will finish in the same city on Aug. 24 after 78 days, breaking the record set by Mark Beaumont of Britain in 2017 by a half day.
Please, don’t mistake my contempt for these sorts of stunts as ill will. I want all these professional vacationers to achieve their goals and, most importantly, arrive at their destinations safely and in good health. But sorry, this is not riding around the world, this is taking a bunch of long rides in different parts of the world:
Of course, the current record-holder describes this as “two and a half months of suffering:”
Beaumont, the record-holder, welcomes Wilcox’s attempt. “When other people try to take the mantel, it’s fantastic,” he said. “We’re 10 years on, it’s about time someone breaks it. I know how hard it is: It’s two and a half months of suffering.”
Oh please. Two and a half months at pretty much any normal job involves way more suffering than riding a bicycle “around the world.” Why do you think these people do it? Consider the current record-holder. This guy’s entire life is the literal manifestation of the expression “it beats working:”
Still, attempting to break a record does require sacrifices, such as chatting less:
“Last time I had so much fun kind of socializing; people would come out to say hello, and I had the time to stop and talk, and I never felt really pressured for time,” she said. “And this time I have to be a bit stricter staying on the bike. I am inviting people to come out and ride with me again, like last time; I just can’t stop as frequently to talk.”
Well, she may have fooled the Times, but as someone who has pursued the twin goals of cycling as much as possible and socializing as little as possible there is simply no way you can sell this to me as anything but a dream vacation, and this should really be in the “Travel” section.
By the way, since you can’t actually ride your bicycle around the world, what gives someone the right to say they did it? Shouldn’t you just be able to ride around the Kissena Velodrome 80,000 times? Well, here are the rules according to Guinness World Records:
Since a true circumnavigation is impossible by bike, Guinness World Records has established some rules for a ride to qualify as “going around the world.” Riders must complete at least 18,000 miles, travel in one direction and finish where they started. They also must pass two points that are antipodal, or located exactly opposite each other on the globe.
Dear Lob, it’s 2026! Why are we still listening to the Guinness people? It’s just a novelty book with pictures of fat guys on motorcycles:
And people with disturbingly long fingernails:
He’s the ideal customer for a single-ring drivetrain.