Pardon my language, but what the fuck, Amish?!?
Et tu, Amish people? As batteries and electronics take over every aspect of our bicycles I thought we could at least count on you to resist, but apparently not:
It might seem counterintuitive at first. The Amish are known for avoiding modern technology, particularly anything with a plug, a screen, or an engine. But electric bicycles are finding a niche in places where you’d expect them least. And while the rules differ from one Amish group to another, a growing number are embracing e-bikes not in spite of their culture, but in service of it.
I mean an Amish guy who owns an e-bike shop, seriously?
E-bike shops that are adjacent to or part of Amish communities have also begun to cater to the demand. David Mullet, a member of the Old Order Amish Church and the owner of E-bikes of Holmes County, a popular bicycle shop in a heavily Amish-populated area of Ohio, explained that e-bikes are simply faster and easier than horses. “It’s a lot quicker to jump on your bike and go into town than it is to bring your horse into the barn, harness it to the buggy, and go. It’s a lot quicker and you travel faster too,” David said.
Oh really, an e-bikes is more convenient than a horse and buggy? They’re only figuring this out now? What’s next? “It’s a lot quicker to just steal stuff than it is to earn it by the sweat of your brow.” I guess I missed the part in the Bible where Job says, “Fuck it, I’m leasing a Hyundai.”
Oh well, I guess it’s official and the e-bikes have won.
At least some of us are staying true to our ideals:
Meanwhile, speaking of stealing, some brigand made off with a bunch of Cofidis team bikes at the Tour de France:
Apparently they defeated “the security measures put in place,” which is a fancy way of saying they opened a closed door:
During the night, the door of the team’s equipment truck was forced open, and the Look bikes were taken, “despite the security measures put in place”, the team wrote in a statement.
Each bike stolen is estimated to be worth around €13,000 (£11,200). All eight of the team’s riders were able to start Sunday’s second stage from Lauwin-Planque to Boulogne-sur-Mer.
How is it that pretty much every component on a modern racing bike is basically a wireless transmitter and yet they still aren’t able to immediately track these things when they get stolen? I mean it seems like this happens every year–though in this case the bikes were soon recovered anyway because it sounds like they never really went anywhere:
This proves once again that a Look in hand is worth several in the bush:
The bikes were stolen from the mechanic’s truck parked in Bondues sometime between Saturday night and Sunday morning. Five of the 11 machines were soon discovered stashed in bushes near that team hotel and now, according to Sporza, the remaining 6 bikes have also been found.
No doubt the thieves intended to ride away but brought shoes for the wrong pedal system, so they attempted to hide the bikes until they could return with compatible cleats.
But apparently in the interim there was a tense moment when both Look and Campagnolo “jumped into action:”
At the same time sponsors Look and Campagnolo jumped into action to help out. Look opened its factory in Nevers on Sunday morning and got to work, painting up new frames and having them delivered. Meanwhile Campagnolo, which supplies wheels and groupsets to the team, mobilized its factory in Italy and sent an express delivery.
Fortunately Campagnolo have nothing else to do anyway since nobody actually buys their stuff anymore.
I also did my part by checking for the stolen bikes on Craigslist, but this was all I found:
Not bad, but it could use wider bars:
I guess the new formula for fixie bar length is that it should be equal to the distance between your front and rear axles.