Streetsblog tends to be in a perpetual state of intoxication due to the the fumes of its own smugness, but every so often they sober up do a really good story, and here’s one of them:
Several years ago, motor scooters (or what Streetsblog and others call “mopeds” even though they really aren’t) quickly supplanted bicycles as the small-scale delivery vehicle of choice in New York City. I figured some enterprising person had seen an opportunity and figured out a way to cheaply import crappy motor scooters to sell to delivery workers, but I never actually looked into it or anything because, you know, I’m lazy and I’m not a journalist. But fortunately Streetsblog has done the legwork and here’s the story behind Fly E-Bike, that brand you often see on the contraption that nearly ran you over:
When you read about stuff like micromobility and app-based delivery and street design and all the rest of it, the discourse surrounding it is often rather high-minded and idealistic, but the reality is much different:
[I don’t think that’s how aviation is supposed to work, but the name certainly fits.]
And while the smuggies are invoking Jan Gehl and Peter Norton or whoever, this guy’s modeling himself on Jordan Belfort:
And it’s pretty impressive, too, except for the people he’s burned–like, literally burned:
Alas, it’s a story as old as the city itself:
It’s almost as if all the progressive pantomiming won’t change the fact that New York City is about one thing and one thing only, and that’s making money:
Most importantly, this article a great example of how the best (and possibly only) way to make real money from bicycles is by replacing those bicycles with something else entirely.
Of course, those of us who don’t depend on making deliveries in order to feed ourselves can afford to make more rarefied decisions when it comes to two-wheeled transportation:
The weekend started out warm and wet, and the be-fendered Homer saw me through the light rain and melting snow:
Then on Sunday the temperature plummeted, and so I looked to the Roadini:
Sorry, I meant Roaduno!
Do I need a Homer, and a Roaduno, and a Roadini? No. But by that logic I also don’t need Beethoven and Brahms when I can just listen to Mozart, or Lucky Charms and Cap’n Crunch when I already have a box of Froot Loops:
Anyway, everybody needs a dedicated three-speed one-speed road-and-frozen-trail bike, obviously:
Of course all these bikes are equally comfortable–not because of the parts, or the fit, or the geometry, or anything like that. No, they’re comfortable because of the square taper cranks. Yes, according to the Desert Hipster website, “crank flex leads to all-day riding comfort:”
Now I’ve heard everything.